Tay Tay's Random Blog

Taking it to the Streets

2012-02-10T16:53:00.002-05:00

The other night I was invited to go into Worcester with afriend to a youth group in a small Lutheran Church. It was a couple miles awayfrom Holy Cross, but we got lost twice anyway. All jokes aside it was a greattime. Going to this thing I thought I was doing something really good, Ithought I was helping these kids out. Once I arrived though I realizedsomething. This is much more for my benefit than for these kids. Sure they getthe benefit of seeing a college kid who worked hard and got really far. But bymeeting these kids I learned a lot. The single greatest moment I had was at theend when we waited for dinner. One of the kids sitting across from me had an APU.S. History book and was doing his homework. I recognized it as the same bookI used two years ago, and said that I took the same class. A huge smile lit upon his face as we talked about how difficult the class was for the both of us.A girl overhearing our conversation brought over an essay for the same classand asked me to read it over, and I did. It was this connection that wasestablished between the three of us that made the night. I came from anentirely different background than these kids, and we both know it. Yet whenthat connection was forged—the pains of taking a difficult class—we were on thesame level, we both realized there was very little in between us. That’s thething I love about God, He teaches me so many amazing things. He shows me thatmy neighbor isn’t just the kid living down the hall from me, my neighbor isalso a kid who’s had an entirely different life than mine. No matter how differentwe all may be, whether we be separated by income, race, religion, etc., we areall the same in God’s eyes. It’s not so much me trying to “get on their level”as much as it is me just talking to these kids that I meet, because we reallyaren’t that much different.

Searching for That Last One

2012-02-02T21:23:00.002-05:00

After today’s earlier post I was reminded of a time whenin a small group a few members were not able to attend anymore due toconflicting schedules. I suggested we change the time a bit to accommodate thembut the response was negative saying “why would we switch the time just forthem?” Now I completely understand, why inconvenience a group for a few memberswho can no longer come. It doesn’t make economic sense. My question is this,did it make sense for the shepherd to leave 99 sheep in search of 1? I meanreally, why risk losing the 99 he has to look for just one sheep. In economicterms it makes no sense, but in God’s eyes that one sheep means everything. InGod’s eyes every lost sheep means the world to Him and He cannot rest untilthat last sheep is brought home. Sure we have enough members already, surelosing a couple doesn’t really matter, to us that is. But to God it meanseverything. Now it may have been complex to change the time of the Bible study,but it was completely worth it in God’s eyes. Instead of saying “why change itjust for them.” I say let’s take the attitude of “let’s do everything we can tobring more people in.”

He Never Stops

2012-02-02T16:31:00.002-05:00

The thing about the Bible that I really love is everytime I read it I can a completely new look at each passage. Earlier thisafternoon I was reading Luke 15, which has the parables of the lost sheep,coin, and the prodigal son. I used to wonder whether it was ever possible toget out of God’s grace; I would think about whether or not I could do somethingso as to be lost again. You see, before I became a believer I was lost, I wasnot in God’s grace and so I counted myself lost in the world. However, thingschanged dramatically when I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior; I was foundby God. I then worried that I would do something to “screw it up,” that I wouldtrip up and God wouldn’t forgive me, that I would be once again lost. Afterreading Luke 15 I don’t think this is the case. When God loses one of Hischildren He drops everything He is doing and runs out and pulls Him back. Godfinds us. Once we are found I don’t think it is possible to be lost again. Now,there is a distinction that must be made here. Someone could easily say “Ohwhat a relief, now I can do anything I want and not be ‘lost.’” I would arguethat this stance is of one who has never been “found.” My knowledge is limited,but there is one thing I do know. I know that after getting a glimpse of lifewith God I would never go back to the way things were. Sure I may trip orstumble as I continue forward, but I will never stray so far as to be fullylost. I don’t think it is ever possible to be out of God’s grace and love.While that may be hard to believe, while it seems that based on ourrelationships with other people here on earth that love is something oncondition it is not that way with God. God’s love is unconditional; it is thekind of love that causes Him to leave His whole flock and search for that onelost sheep no matter how long it may take. People may give up on you but Godnever will, it is never possible to be truly lost from His grace.

We are Worth so Much More

2012-02-01T10:24:00.000-05:00

Proof that I have been paying attention in class: todayin class we talked about Nietzsche. Nietzsche was a German philosopher wellknown for his stance against Christianity. His most controversial statementproclaiming, “God is dead.” So why am I writing about him? Well today in classwe talked about his book The Birth ofTragedy in which he claims that beauty is the sole creator of happiness (hedoes this to refute Socrates who said that justice/virtue are the sole sourcesof happiness). Nietzsche is essentially claiming that people who are welloff/beautiful/lucky are the ones who are happy, and that it’s tough luck forthose who aren’t so fortunate. My question is this: how sad must that be.Imagine a life where all that matters is your looks, prosperity, and luck.Imagine how empty that must feel. Sure I try to keep appearance put togetherand I hope to get a well-paid job after graduating, but to me life is worth somuch more than that. Life is worth so much more than my subjective opinions ofthe world around me. Where does this worth come from? It comes from God. It isfrom God that I find my self-worth, not those who surround me. I know that Imatter because God tells me I do. I know that I am blessed because it is Godwho blesses me. I may never be as strong as a pro athlete, handsome as a big-nameactor, or smart as a Nobel Prize winner but I do know one thing; I know thatGod loves me and sees in me His special creation and for that reason and thatreason alone I am worth something. Sure I could look at the people around meand pass judgments on their appearance, abilities, or net worth. But I don’t,and it is because God loves us unconditionally that we are commanded to do thesame. Much of what I have will gradually fade away, but the one possession Imake claim to that will grow is my relationship with God. That is all thatmatters.

A Life Worth Living

2012-01-30T23:33:00.005-05:00

As I take a brief interlude from finishing up somehomework I figured it was a good time to write a blog post. I had a FCA(Fellowship of Christian Athletes) meeting tonight and it sparked somethinginside my heart. The verse we read was Colossians 3:17 “And whatever you do,whether in word or deed don it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanksto God the Father through Him.” We were talking about attentiveness and how weshould approach life and our relationship with God. I thought to myself for amoment (not being attentive to what we were talking about though (that was ajoke)), how often do I go through the motions in life? Really think about it,how many days go by when we just live our lives to get to the end of the dayand do it all over again? Sometimes a week may go by when I realize that I didvery little to truly add to my life and grow closer to God. Heck a month couldgo by and I realize that I have been slipping down the slope of sleepiness anda general lack of attention. So, how do we go about solving this problem weface? Well it is a very simple solution in that it is a short answer, but it isincredibly hard to follow through with. We just have to follow the verse, ineverything we do, do it for God. Whether I be playing baseball, going to class,or helping a friend I should do it in the name of the Lord. Believe me, this iseasier said than done. It takes a lot of hard work and effort, but the resultsare well worth it. I don’t want to live a life going through the motions,instead I want to do something great; not great in the sense that I get somesort of award but great in that I lived a life solely for God. A life lived formyself is a life wasted, no matter what legacy I leave on the world. A lifelived for God is never wasted, no matter what lack of legacy I leave behind.Every day is a chance to live a life worth living, instead of facing a daythinking ‘gosh why do I have to get out of bed?’ I’ll face every day shoutingout “How blessed am I to have a chance to live a life worth living and a lifefor God, no matter what I do.

Notice

2012-01-17T14:49:00.002-05:00

I recently (recently meaning 5 months ago) added advertisements to my blog. I do not choose these advertisements, they are picked based on the content of my writing. That said I have noticed a few political ones endorsing certain candidates, I just wanted to say that this is not a blog about politics, it is about my thoughts (usually centered on the Bible and Red Sox) and I in no way endorse anyone on the blog and hope to not alienate any readers as a result. Thanks and keep reading!

What do I Believe?

2012-01-17T14:46:00.002-05:00

I was reading Luke 9 last night before bed and I noticedsomething that I hadn’t really taken the time to think about before. Earlierthat evening I was watching the Republican debate and it seemed like many ofthe candidates wouldn’t answer a question directly, but instead try to clarifysomething beforehand or say they agree with someone else. The verse that struckout to me was verse 20 “’But what about you?’ He asked. ‘Who do you say I am?’”Here Jesus asked Peter what others said about Him, but then asked what Peterthought. The thing that stuck out to me was the fact that Jesus didn’t reallycare about what Peter knew of what others said, He wanted to know what Peterthought. I ask you (and myself) this: what do you believe. I find myselfgetting caught into the trap of “Well so-and-so said this, so I choose to agreewith him.” Well, so-and-so could be wrong. Heck I could be wrong. What do Ibelieve? Do I believe what my pastor tells me, what C.S. Lewis wrote, or do Ibelieve what the Bible tells me? God doesn’t want to hear what our friends,parents, or pastors say; no, instead He wants to hear what we believe. Whilewhen answering the tough questions it is easy to struggle and fumble the answera bit, I tend to search for some sort of clarification to back my answer up.But Peter didn’t, even when his answer was in conflict with what other peoplewere saying. The others were saying that Jesus was a prophet, but Peter knewwhat he felt in his heart and said he believed that Jesus was “the Christ ofGod.” What do I believe? I believe in the Bible and that it is God’s word.While I may feel the need to bulk up my answer with someone else’ previouswords, they aren’t necessary when it comes down to what I think. If I everstray and change my position out of pride, I just need to remember what Jesussaid in verse 26 “If anyone is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man willbe ashamed of him.” Is it harsh, yes a bit; but remember this, God doesn’t carewhat our friends have to say about Him, He wants to know what we have to say.

Response to a Question

2012-01-11T15:43:00.002-05:00

It seems to me that very well justified claim aboutChristianity’s beliefs on the afterlife has become popular. This claim concernsthe doctrine of Heaven and Hell, and either follows a path that concludes thata just God wouldn’t send people to Hell, or that God because He is just doesn’tsend people to hell. Unfortunately the Biblesays very little about the afterlife other than Jesus’ mentioning of the lifethat He brings, and it says even less about Hell. So I suppose it is up totheologians (and amateurs such as myself) to come up with an answer to thepresented question. Now this is my line of thinking, and I’m not saying I’mright because we simply don’t know. I think that the doctrine of Heaven andHell is perfectly in line with the concept of a just and loving God, and thatis because I don’t believe that God sends people to hell. Now you may bethinking ‘wait a minute Tay Tay, if God doesn’t send people to hell then whodoes?’ I then ask you to think about it this way; the people who supposedly goto hell are those who, although they were given a chance to accept God, choseto live a life separate from God. Jesus said “I am the way, the truth, and thelife,” the option of going to Heaven really is open ended. I then ask you to thinkabout those who refused God for whatever reason, it may be non-belief, anger, stubbornness…do you really think that they want to spend eternity with God? Think about it,if I don’t want to believe in God then I don’t want to spend an eternityworshipping Him in Heaven. So where do I go? Well, a place where God isn’t,which would be Hell. I don’t think Hell is so much a world of fire andbrimstone as it is an absence of God, and thus an absence of all the goodthings that He has created. Now I may be wrong, but this is just my thoughts ona subject that I have noticed comes up often.

Wait for Your Pitch

2012-01-11T14:46:00.002-05:00

Before I went to bed last night I had a thought, and soas to not forget it I wrote it down in a notebook I keep on my night table. Itwas a simple thought, but I felt that it was important enough to write a blogpost about, so here it is. I’ve been thinking about some bad decisions I havemade over the years, everyone has those moments where they say “Oh if only Ihadn’t done that, I ended up in such a situation!” When those moments come itis easy to beat yourself up, when really you should look at it in the followingway. I like to think that God can speak to us in many forms, and that in thislate-night train of thought God was getting me back on track. This is abaseball related analogy; I love to play baseball so it would make sense thatthis would come to my mind. Anyway, as a hitter you want to be selective aspossible without waiting around too much. Meaning wait for your pitch, but knowwhen the time to swing has come. If I step up to the plate I might take thefirst pitch, and then wait for something I can drive, which for me is belt highor lower, and on the outside half of the plate. It doesn’t do me any good tojump on that first inside fastball I see, or the lazy junk curveball floatingout of the strike zone. I should wait for my pitch. It’s kind of the same inlife. Often there are situations in life where we seem to jump at the firstopportunity that presents itself. Instead we should wait on God to bring us “ourpitch.” There were times in my life when I chased after the wrong thing, Ithought it looked pretty good at the beginning, but then I realized it wasnothing but a big curveball pulling a trick on me. I guess one thing God hastaught me is to be patient and not make quick or rash decisions, I need to waitfor my pitch before I can hit a homerun.

We Have to Put Down our Swords and Open our Hearts

2012-01-10T14:26:00.000-05:00

This is a post I wanted to write a while back but forgotto. When I read Luke 6 this morning (and I am glad I did because I almostneglected to) I was reminded of my post. A few weeks ago I wrote a post aboutgoing to the juvenile detention center with my father. That got me thinkingabout Holy Cross’ message about loving others and living with others (I believethe motto is “men and women with others). So that got me thinking about lovingmy neighbor and then I asked the big question, “Who is my neighbor?” Fortunatelysomeone beat me to the punch about 2000 years ago and asked Jesus the samething (good Samaritan anyone?), but I still want to write about it. In Luke 6:27-28 Jesus says “love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless thosewho curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” That’s a pretty tough commandto follow. It is easy for me to love my friends and family, sure I get mad atthem sometimes but at the end of the day I love them a lot. It is also fairlyeasy for me to love those in my community; nothing gives me greater pleasurethan to serve whether it is a neighbor down the street or a kid in jail whoneeds encouragement. But it is often hard for me to love my enemies. Whensomeone mistreats me my first instinct isn’t always to pray, instead it is toget even. As the saying goes “don’t get mad, get even.” And I admit, sometimesI do desire to get even with those who harm me, whether it be verbal, physical,or emotional. But that isn’t right. My dad use to tell me that “hurt peoplehurt people.” It takes a broken heart in a person for them to cause pain insomeone else. Does that mean what they do is ok? No, but it does mean that myenemies may be hurting and instead of hatred need love and understanding. Therehave been people in the past who have treated me wrongly, taken advantage of me,and left me. Instead of getting back at them I choose to see them as God does,I choose to love them as God does. As Jesus said in verse 36 “be merciful, justas your Father is merciful.” It may be challenging to quell the desires forrevenge, but you have to do it.

It's Never "Just Another Day"

2012-01-10T14:13:00.002-05:00

Lately I have been reading Luke. Now, I’ve noticed that Ihaven’t been blogging a whole lot about what I’ve been reading in the Bible. LatelyI have let a lot of things cloud my view of God, and cast my eyes down onthings that don’t really matter. I’ve had a bit of a rough time, but God hasbrought me out of it. So here I am continuing my Bible reading and writing thispost. I was reading Chapter 5 last night, which starts off with Jesus callsPeter to follow Him. This may seem like a common story, but for some reason itstood out a little differently to me. Lately I’ve been thinking a great dealabout where I am in my life now, and how my life at Holy Cross has developed abit differently than I thought it would. I’ve been saying to myself, “Gosh if Ihad only known I’d end up here!” Well, Peter must have thought along the samelines (although his reasons to are a bit happier than mine). Imagine what wasgoing through Peter’s head, he was at work all night and probably wanted to gohome and sleep that morning but God had different plans for him. Peter probablyfigured that day was a normal one, just like any other day of his life but inthe end it couldn’t be more different. Instead of going home after a long night’swork Peter met the Son of God and took a chance to follow Him. I guess thispassage stood out to me, not because there is anything truly deep to learn, butbecause I can identify with Peter a bit. I thought that in going to college Iwouldn’t miss home that much, I’d do well in classes, and make a few friends.Instead God took me on a whirlwind journey, full of joy but also some momentsof sadness as well. But that’s the thing about life, and about God’s plan forus. Little do we know of the great places God will lead us, but we need totrust Him first. Peter had to trust in Jesus to see His true power, and it isthe same for us. Before we can go on the journey we need to recognize the calland say “yes” when we hear it. God led me through some interesting situations,but all along I always knew that behind the scenes God was at work in my life,and He does the same for all of us.

Tebow, Religion, and Radio Stations

2012-01-08T21:34:00.002-05:00

Well anyone who considers himself fairly knowledgeableabout sports will know that the Denver Broncos won earlier tonight and willadvance to the playoffs. He will also know that Tim Tebow, the Broncosquarterback has taken the football world by storm. Now Tebow is (from what Ihear) an average quarterback, but he gets a lot of attention because he leadsthe team well and is also a man of very strong faith. Unfortunately he alsogets a lot of negative attention for having faith as well. Recently I waslistening to the radio in the car and the speaker was talking about religionand politics and saying that the happiest countries are also the leastreligious. Now what do these two events have in common? Well nothing, otherthan that they both caused me to question why it seems the world has such aproblem with religion. It seems to me that religion is seen in a negative lightnowadays, that people like Tim Tebow are being cast more as villains and thepunch lines of jokes than the decent men that they are. I would ask those thathave a problem with Tebow (or any other religious men in general) what is thealternative? Yes, many terrible things have been done in the name of religion(we all learned these in our 7^th grade history class: the Crusades,the Spanish Inquisition, Religious wars…). But look at the other end of thespectrum; what about atheist societies? While terrible things have been done inthe name of religion, possibly even worse have been done in the absence ofreligion. It is the absence of God that brought Hitler’s Nazi’s, Stalin,Castro, the catastrophe in Rwanda, and the Albanian Genocide. What is my point?Without a belief in God, human life means nothing. Is it harsh? Yes, but it isnot false at all. If I am a mere combination of atoms that was thrown togetherby chance then what reason do I have to live? What right do I have? I am nodifferent than any other animal that dies in the wild and my death should betreated as such. But we have a completely different reaction, and that isbecause we view human life as sacred and that projection can only come from abelief in the divine. It seems that religious men are cast as the problem, thatthey are preventing our own happiness. Well what if we lived in an atheist world,what if our laws meant nothing more than what men ought to do because… well,someone said so a while back. Yes terrible things have been done in the name ofChristianity, but without the true followers of Christ who live out His messageof love towards others no matter what, where would we be?

Red Sox Top 10

2012-01-07T11:54:00.002-05:00

Well it hasbeen a while since I wrote about the Red Sox so here is my top ten list ofthings I look forward to most in the 2012 season (and possibly hope to happen(not necessarily in order of my anticipation)).

1) How will Ortiz do, can he follow up his tremendous 2011 season or will hecollapse once and for all?

2) Lester’s return, he had a subpar year last season and has a fair amount toprove, what with the beer and chicken and all. I'm expecting 18 -20 wins.

3) Salty’s first full season as the starting catcher, he has the reigns and it ishis job to lead the team to victory, I’m guessing .260 average and around 20HR. Oh, and he finally get’s the respect of the pitching staff.

4) Crawford, last season was bad, I have a feeling this year will be pretty good.

5) Of course, how could I forget the Bobby Valentine show?

6) Ellsbury. That’s all I have to say there.

7) Gonzalez should have a better year given that his shoulder is completelyhealed, I’m pegging him for .330-.340 avg. and 30-35 HR.

8) Bailey, can he make us forget all about Pap (considering the loss in Septemberit shouldn’t be too hard).

9) New rivalries. Not only is it the Yankees and Rays, but now we hate the Oriolestoo.

October 2012, expect the Sox to be there

Disclaimer:My estimates for statistics are based on no facts whatsoever and should not betaken with any serious consideration. But if I am at all close then I will say"See, I knew it all along."

New Years Resolutions and Whatnot

2012-01-01T15:11:00.003-05:00

Well it’s New Years day and you know what that means,resolutions (and wasted gym memberships). It seems that this time if yeareveryone comes up with a change they want to make so that the next year isbetter than the last. I was never big on resolutions, I believe that changes shouldlast a lifetime not just a year, and also that I don’t need a calendar to tellme when a good time to start changing my life is when there is no better timethan the present. Anyways, I digress. A lot of resolutions seem to be healthrelated so that got me in the mood for this post. I try to maintain a highlevel of physical fitness; although I may not be a competitive athlete anymore(I hope this changes though) I still enjoy running, swimming, biking, andlifting weights to stay fit. It hit me the other day that if I work so hard(like many this time of year) to keep my body fit I should be workinginfinitely harder for my spiritual fitness. At best I have 50 years left onthis earth (assuming I live to be 70-ish), but my soul will live forever. Sowhy do I put four days a week into my earthly body but one day into myspiritual one? Now this is not to say that working out is good, what service toGod am I if I die at the age of 35 from a heart attack? Likewise, what good amI if I have the body of a pro athlete but the heart of a… well, bad person? Thisis not so much a resolution (already said I don’t like those) as it is a lifechoice. No more will I allow myself to get caught up so carelessly in thethings of the world, and no more will I allow myself to get spiritually fat.Instead I will strive for spiritual fitness, as should we all, because aboveall that is what matters the most. My body will eventually break down as I veerfarther from my “prime” but my soul will last forever. Instead of focusing somuch on the material I’d saw it is best to focus on the eternal because that iswhat matters the most.

New Year's Prayer

2012-01-01T11:02:00.001-05:00

As I enter my fifth year in the blogosphere I feel that ashort reflection on 2011 and a prayer for 2012 is in order. First, I want toreflect. 2011 was an interesting year, and I find it very encouraging that God answeredmy prayer. Here is a short piece of my prayer for the New Year: “I don’t pray for comfort or that everythingwill go my way, but I do pray that when things go wrong I will not give in andforget God’s promise – that He is with me to the end. I pray for growth, that Imay grow in understanding of God’s word, and that I may grow closer to Him.”2011 certainly had its fair share of troubles, most seeming to congregate aroundthe past few months. Yet while I may have lost strength I never lost faith orhope. I’ve realized that life will often turn the way we don’t want it to, butthat doesn’t mean we are alone. No, God is with us, and He speaks to usconstantly, whether it is through the Bible, prayer, or even a friend. I knowGod has been with me, even though I may not always walk with Him. I also knowone thing about my future for sure; God will continue to be with me all thedays of my life. Yes things might not go as I want them to, but God is therealways; as the saying goes “God’s fingerprints are all over this.” Now for theprayer: God you taught me a lot in 2011 and I pray that you continue to teachme and lead me down the right path. I’ve allowed myself to get distracted bythings of the world, and I pray that I will hear your voice and see yourpresence in my life. I pray that I listen for your words and follow your commandand that I get on the track that I am supposed to be on. While my future may beuncertain, I pray that your direction will not be. Amen.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T00:24:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to take the time while I am still somewhat awake to wish all my readers a happy New Year. 2011 has been interesting to say the least, but I'll postpone the reflection for tomorrow (or is it later today?). Thanks everyone for reading and writing comments, it has been a great year and I know God will lead me to even greater and wilder places in 2012. Until then I will get some rest, and ya'll should as well.

Christmas Eve Post

2011-12-24T22:05:00.002-05:00

As I sat in church this Christmas Eve I couldn’t but helpthink how the time has flown. It seemed like just yesterday I was five yearsyounger and three inches shorter sitting in the same pew, yet here I am now. Alot has happened in the past few days, but if there is one thing I’ve learnedin the best six years of my life (my life as a Christian) it is that God is incontrol. This is the God that sent His son to our earth. The God of allpeoples, whether you are a carpenter, astrologers, or poor shepherds, God is herefor all of us. I might not know where I am headed but I do know that God isleading me every step of the way and I thank Him for that. I’ve lost a lot, butI’ve never lost faith or hope in God, in both of those I find my strength toget through the trials of life. As I reflect this Christmas I realize thatwhile times may be tough, I’ve never had it so good and that is because it istimes like these that I find strength in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Nowall the sentiments aside I have some food and cookies to munch on, so I wisheveryone a Merry Christmas and safe travels.

Forgiven

2011-12-21T22:02:00.002-05:00

You know those moments when God speaks to your heart loudand clear? Well I just had one of those. I went with my dad to his weekly Biblestudy that works with kids in prison. These kids have done some serious stuff,but a few of them show up for our weekly worship. I’ve been feeling pretty downlately (if you couldn’t tell by my earlier posts) so I didn’t really want to gotonight, but I went anyways. Boy am I glad I did. We watched The Nativity Story (great movie if you’venever seen it) and something really struck me. One scene that really jumped outto me was when the shepherd reached out to touch Jesus, but pulled his handback because he felt he was unworthy. Mary held Jesus out and said that He camefor everyone, and then the shepherd reached his hand back towards Jesus whileholding back tears. I didn’t show it but I was nearly in tears as well at thatpoint. For the past six months I’ve been blaming myself for something I neverdid, for something out of my control. Through that I forgot what God’s gracefelt like, I forgot that I was forgiven. I can imagine the devil in hellscheming “If sin won’t get Tay Tay let’s crush him emotionally!” You know what,I gave in to that tactic. I shot myself in the foot by telling myself that I amnot worthy of God’s love. Yet I forget that this message of love oozes out ofevery page of the Bible. I forgot that the Bible is literally God’s love letterto man. I forgot that even if I were the last person on earth Jesus still wouldhave died on the cross. It’s not about what I did or did not do, all thatreally matters is that no matter what we are forgiven by God. John 3:16 says “ForGod so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believesin him shall not perish but have eternal life.” I’m forgiven no matter what,the life I live is one of freedom not slavery to guilt. I thank God for Hisabounding love and grace that He showed me patience and brought me to thedetention center tonight, for I found Jesus.

Update

2011-12-21T13:48:00.003-05:00

I added a new feature to the blog. Instead of just one page, there are now two (I may add more as I see fit). For those who don't know the story of how my blog came to be simply click the "story" page on the right.

Change

2011-12-21T11:47:00.000-05:00

I wrote a post a while back, it must have been in July or August, about my summer reading book Tattoos on the Heart. I wrote about change, and how it all starts with you deciding enough is enough. Well I guess God wasn’t satisfied with me simply writing about it, so He let me learn the lesson myself. I’ve been in a bad way for the past couple months. I suffered a bad a year ago (look at my posts in August 2010) and blamed myself for it. Don’t ask me why, but I felt responsible. The thing is, when I look at my posts I see them brimming with hope, although I suffered I still had hope and trust founded in God. It was only in the past six months that I started to blame myself for what happened. The devil will use anything he can against us, but is favorite tool is ourselves. I was working against myself here, and I ended up allowing myself to take a time out while life began to pass me by. But change starts within us, it doesn’t begin outside and work its magic. Instead we have to initiate it. Now this can be hard, but God is there and He is willing to give us the strength. I was never at fault for what happened, but for some reason I allowed myself to be. Now if I want my life to improve, and move on then I need to initiate it because nothing is going to change if I don’t put the work in. If there’s one regret I have its allowing the devil to fool me into believing something that isn’t worth the time of day, but the good news is that I have plenty of my life to live from here on in freedom founded in my savior Jesus Christ.

This Christmas

2011-12-20T19:31:00.001-05:00

Well it’s almost Christmas and I have yet to write a Christmas post. Instead of the whole flowery post about joy and peace, I’m going to write about something very personal (in an impersonal way). Lately a lot of very bad things have been happening to me, I won’t say what, but I will say that they have caused me to lose sight of the goodness in my life and the grace of God. I’ve lost a lot of faith over the past couple years and I’ve let the devil get the best of me. I can imagine him with his demons saying, “Well if we can’t cause Tay Tay to sin his way out of God’s grace maybe we can rock his world a bit and cause him to lose faith.” Sadly it seems he has won in part; I’ve lost faith in God and in myself. When Jesus was born things were pretty hectic. His mother was accused of adultery, his father nearly left him before his birth, and King Herod wanted him killed. All of that was thrust upon a helpless baby (albeit he was God, but still God’s power was confined in the abilities of a baby), the future of our world hanging on a few decisions. But he made it out ok, better than ok as that baby grew up to be a man who died to save us from our sins. Life can be a lot like that first Christmas: hectic, dark, or terrifying. Yet we can’t let that run our life, we can’t let the devil win. This Christmas remember this: while your life may be incredibly difficult, God can do miracles through the bleakest situations and turn things around. The way things were going it didn’t look good for God’s master plan to save the human race, but by His grace things turned around and evil was defeated.

Did He Just Say That?

2011-12-19T12:09:00.000-05:00

I was engaged in a discussion about religion with some friends a few days ago and an interesting (and somewhat paradoxical statement) was made. One of my friends claims to be very religious (which I don’t doubt, he lives out his faith well) but at the same time said you can’t trust the Bible, only what the Catholic Church teaches. This came about because I said a teaching of the Catholic Church was not found in the Bible, and he said you can’t always trust what the Bible says as truth. I can rehash my statement about the validity of the Bible, but I already posted on that. I stand by my opinion; we have to assume that the Bible is fully valid as it is God’s word. You can call me a “Bible thumper” or “fundamentalist” or even crazy (I deny the first one though, I don’t think someone who is crazy can have a Holy Cross education). Instead I’ll pose a question: where did the teachings of the church come from? Well I assume that they are founded in the Bible. So you might as well say I love Italian food, but I hate pasta, pizza, chicken, fish, and so on. It’s a backwards statement to make. This is the problem with our modern world today, many hide behind scientific understanding as a reason to disprove the Bible. Yet my friends also acknowledge the divinity of Jesus. Now, my question is this, how can God be able to produce one miracle in the New Testament, yet be handcuffed throughout the Old Testament. Isn’t that what faith is about, believing in the seemingly impossible? How can I be expected to worship a God that can’t do anything? If God is as all-powerful as my friends claim, shouldn’t He be able to produce miracles at ease? That said I firmly stand by my belief that the Bible is supreme, it writes of an all-powerful God and backs it up with evidence of His ability. You can’t claim to believe in the miraculous if you deny the existence of miracles. Is this post harsh?

Never Give Up

2011-12-19T12:00:00.000-05:00

Well finals are finally over (pun not intended, if that counts as a pun), and now I find myself with plenty of time to write. While I am tempted to take every day of the next five weeks off, I think it best to expend some of my already depleted mental energy into blogging. This post is not applicable anymore (as I no longer face great adversity) but any time you need a word of encouragement it is good. The single verse that got me through the past two weeks (heck even the past four months) is 2 Corinthians 4: 8-9, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” Here Paul is talking about how although his life seemingly falls apart, with God he can still stand strong. The past four months have been grueling at times; the past two weeks have been downright exhausting. There have been moments when I just want to give up and go to bed, hoping all the while that I would wake up in the safety of my own home. But life doesn’t work that way, we don’t get timeouts or breaks, instead we just have to keep on going. And that sounds really harsh doesn’t it? Here’s the thing though, we are not alone in our struggles. God is there with us every step of the way feeding us His strength and love so that we may keep going. Sure life can seem impossible; there can be mountains that we just cannot climb. But God is never failing and will always be there to pick us up when we desperately need it. Next time you find yourself ready to give up remember this: you always have that strength to take the next step forward and God is always going to be there to give it to you.

Notice

2011-12-12T14:48:00.001-05:00

A ton has been on my mind lately, but I have absolutely no time to write (it being finals week and all) but will post soon (as in later this week). Till then enjoy the Christmas season and God bless.

It's Not About Me

2011-12-05T23:48:00.000-05:00

Late night post, I know but I was praying and couldn’t get this out of my head and didn’t want to forget. So often I worry about the future; what job will I have? Will I get married? What kind of man will I be? Where will God lead me next? Then a thought popped into my head. Nearly every decision I have made on my own has been a disaster, without God I have not accomplished very much in my life. It was God who made me a Christian, God who got me into baseball, God who had my family move to my new town, God who started my blog, God who allowed the worst pain but the greatest blessing in my life last summer, God who brought me to Holy Cross, God who pushed me to meet the friends I have, and God who made me the man I am today. Nowhere does it say “Tay Tay did this all on his own.” No, instead it was God who pushed me in the right direction. It doesn’t matter what decisions I make, because God will always lead me where He wants me to go. It’s not about me, it’s what God wants of me. I may whine and cry and say “Oh boo hoo I can’t hear God’s voice anymore.” But really, in all of those instances I heard God loud and clear. When I started my blog I had an itching in my fingers, little did I know that it would become my ministry to serve God. When I visited Holy Cross I had a feeling that it would be a nice school to go to, I had no idea what I was in for, and all the great people I have met. Sure there will be challenges and failures along the way, but that’s life isn’t it? God will lead me, if my life is not testimony enough to that statement then I better get my vision checked because it is plain to see that God has led me every step of the way and won’t stop until the day I die.

Where is the Love?

2011-12-04T10:11:00.001-05:00

I have to admit, I am not the most loving person. Sure I can be very nice to people, but I often find myself judging others or being quick to take offense to wrongs against me. God taught me a lot about love last year when I nearly lost the thing that mattered most to me, and lately He’s been teaching me a great deal. 1 Corinthians 13 says love is the greatest, it even goes as far to say that out of faith, hope, and love, love matters the most. I’ve been reading the Gospels, and the one thing that stands out to me is how loving Jesus is. They say that God is love, and that the Bible is His love letter to mam, I’ll buy that. In everything Jesus does it is out of His love for those around Him. Sure He rebukes people, but never once does He judge, push away, ignore, or hold a grudge against anyone. That is what unconditional love looks like, and that is what this world desperately needs. In a time where war, starvation, divorce, and crime rates are all up we find ourselves missing out on one huge thing: God’s love. I never really gave much thought to the effect that my actions had on those around me. Sure I thought about the “Golden Rule” and did my best to be nice, but I never realized that the things I say or do can have a very real effect. As a Christian I am a representative of God, it is my greatest hope (and fear that I may fail) that when people see me they see the love and tenderness of God. Through me God can do His good work, and love others. When I act out in anger, selfishness, jealousy, or cruelty what effect does that have on those around me? How do I show the love of God? How can I possibly bring the Gospel to world with a God shaped hole in its heart? The answer: I can’t. If you think being a Christian is all about following a set of rules, well good luck all you’ll end up with is a tired soul and a bitter heart. It is so much more than that; it is about loving others, loving others unconditionally. That means not taking offense easily, forgiving those that hurt us, and turning the other cheek. It is not easy, but the reward is sweet. Lately God has taught me a lot about loving others unconditionally, and with that going forward I now have a better understanding of what God is like, and how He expects me to represent Him in His world.

Big News

2011-11-29T09:58:00.002-05:00

So this is not a complete post, but as I have some great news and not much time to share it here is a shorter version of a future post. Last night I was offered the position of head of FCA (fellowship of christian athletes) next year. It was a huge and unexpected honor. I love what we do in FCA and definitely want to work on marketing it more to get more people involved because it is a great ministry. I used to want to have a ministry but now I realize that no ministry belongs to us, it is God's ministry entrusted to those He hand picks. I feel undeserving of this great honor but will pray about it and I can't wait to get started doing the Lord's work. So often life gets crazy and we lose sight of what we are here for; I may not know what I want to do with my life but I do know that serving God is what really matters.

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T09:59:00.002-05:00

Just wanted to say happy Thanksgiving to all my readers. Life can get hectic and there can be a lot to be thankful for that we lose sight of. I know from experience that this can be true. Though we may lose big things in life, never let us lose sight of all the hidden blessings around us. If I could list out everything I had to complain about I'd have a pretty long list, but if I had to list out everything I appreciated and loved I wouldn't have time in my life to do so. Happy Thanksgiving and safe travels, now it's time for some pre-dinner snacking (I barely eat at college, give me a break).

True, Untrue, or Half True

2011-11-22T09:11:00.000-05:00

I was talking with a couple people the other day on the question as to how truthful the Bible is. They claimed that parts of the Bible are outdated, and that parts of it are true but not everything. While they agreed that the entire Bible is not true, they claimed other parts are and that it is still the word of God. My question is this, how truthful is a half-truth? “Tay Tay why is your paper not handed in on time?” “Uh, I’ve been busy with other stuff and could really use an extension.” What really happened: I forgot about the paper and chose to go into Boston one day of the weekend, and watch the Bourne trilogy the next day. Sure I did tell the half-truth, but ultimately the half-truth is a lie. So what is my point? That if something is not completely true then it is a lie. Even if we wanted to say that only part of the Bible is true, which parts? Should we take surgical instruments to it and expertly cut out all that “silly” stuff on miracles? My claim is this, if we aren’t to take on the Bible as 100% true we can’t take it on at all. You get into a sticky situation when you try to discern what is true and what isn’t. That’s faith though isn’t it? Believing in the absence of belief. Yes many parts of the Bible are fantastic, but is not God all-powerful, how hard could it be for Him to preform a few miracles here and there. It’s not easy, sometimes I find myself scratching my head thinking ‘Did this really happen?’ That is what faith is for though, that is what faith is all about. Do I have all the answers? Heck no, I’m only an 18 year old college student who hasn’t a clue where he is going in life, but you know what, no one but God will ever have the answers; it’s up to Him to reveal them to us.

Cans of Worms

2011-11-19T20:43:00.000-05:00

So here is a post I meant to write a while later, but as always in college my life is constantly on hold, anyway here it goes. At the same FCA meeting where I watched the film on Stephen Hawkins, we got into a discussion as to whether we should take the Bible literally or metaphorically. Now, to even ask this question opens a can of worms, and I don’t like worms so for the short duration of a blog post I will try to clean the mess up. In short I don’t know, if I say yes take it literally then I face criticism by the scientific community, and the opposite I am deemed a heretic. Nether are good for my blog, and in my opinion not 100% correct either. I believe the Bible is the divine word of God that man wrote it has not bearing on its accuracy, it is God’s word and that is enough. That said, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t metaphorical significance as well. For example, the story of creation fits in with ancient Hebrew poetry, 1000 is the perfect number of years in life, so it makes sense man’s lives would gradually decrease after Adam (lived to 900), and also many stories are rich in symbolism prevalent in Hebrew culture (just look at the use of numbers). Does this mean that they never happened? Well, I can’t say for certain, I’m not just about to say that they didn’t, but I’m also not going to say that they don’t have any metaphorical significance in addition to any historical importance they have. I wrote a post about the creation story, and here I will reiterate my main point, it doesn’t necessarily matter what exactly happened, but what it means in terms of God’s relationship to man. God loves us, that is the main message of the Bible, if we take away that one truth is that not enough?

Post # 112

2011-11-17T10:01:00.002-05:00

Officially more posts than last year, I went through a rough time and was lax in my writing but this year I came back strong and will continue to do so until the end of 2011. Then it will be on to 2012!

Found Some Wisdom Today

2011-11-17T09:54:00.000-05:00

So this is more of a personal post, and it is also about faith. Lately I’ve been attending a prayer group that I was invited to by a good friend. I invited this friend to a weekly Bible Study I attend and she in turn invites me to pray with some of her friends. I was eager to go, gathering in fellowship with other Christians (especially in a college environment) is always a good thing. I have to admit though, after going I was a little intimidated. Everyone seemed so in tune with God, and strong in his or her faith. Me on the other hand, sometimes I feel like I’m struggling just to get through the next day. I felt intimidated, I’ll admit it, it’s like playing baseball with someone who is truly better than you, you want to duck out quietly. That’s what the devil wants me to do though! I realized that this morning, that the devil will do anything he can to get me to stay away from God. He’ll throw personal issues in my face, he’ll cause me to procrastinate and miss church, and if that doesn’t work he’ll make me feel afraid. Faith can feel like an uphill battle sometimes, but that’s why God gives us a helping hand right? Yeah God can be silent sometimes, but He’s there, always watching. I’m glad I went, I’m glad I have newfound friends in Christ, and I’m glad God spoke some wisdom to me and showed me the light. It’s easy to be intimidated, but is there ever a good reason to be?

Did He Really Say That?

2011-11-17T09:43:00.001-05:00

Recently I watched a very interesting video on my FCA (fellowship of Christian athletes) meeting. We were talking about proofs for God, and then we watched a Discovery Channel special on Stephen Hawkins and his conclusions about the origin of the universe. Hawkins claimed that there is no need for God and also no afterlife. He said that we finally found the meaning of our universe and should be proud; he said that this life is all there is and he is grateful for it. I am not so well trained in physics; I’m more of an English and philosophy man, but I do have one question for Hawking. Should we be proud? Should we be grateful? If this world is all there is, then I have very little to be truly happy about. Think about it, if life is nothing more than an “every man for himself” battle for achieving our desires and dreams then what is the point? What does it matter if I continue to live out the rest of my life or end it tomorrow? The answer: it doesn’t. If there is not God, no true sense of justice beyond our relative understanding, who’s to say that that theft, murder, or rape are crimes? The answer: no one. We cannot prove or disprove the existence of God, it stinks but it’s true, but I believe that the world points right to God. That life has value points to God. That our world is defined by the principle of a “good world gone bad” it points to God. That I can have the hope to carry through the trials that weigh me down points to God. Can I prove anything? No, but neither can anyone else. Sometimes you just have to reach out and trust that there is something there, but then again, isn’t it worth it? I feel bad for Hawking, I sincerely do. He lived a hard life and is paralyzed, if this is all there is to life then he led a sad existence. In God’s eyes though he matters just as much as anyone, a life lived for God is a life to be grateful for, a life that is never wasted.

Red Sox Update

2011-11-16T20:36:00.002-05:00

So here are a few thoughts on the current state of the Sox (yes they still exist).

1) They need pitching, pitching, and more pitching. Not only do they need starting depth (the rotation is currently 2 pitchers and a town drunk) but they need a lot of help in the bullpen. It seems like last years acquisitions (don't worry Jenks will come through!) did very little to solidify a much deprived pitching staff. Without Pap as the closer a lot of work needs to be done.

2) Outfield, yeah Drew wasn't much help, but without him there is no starting RF. Beltran's name is floating around, yeah he's good but is it work the risk? Also there is this Cuban guy, Cespedes (or something like that) from what I see he is strong and athletic, but the question remains as to whether that is enough. They need someone other than Reddick, and RH would be preferable.

3) 3B, is it time to shop Youk and save a little $? Lowrie and Aviles seem pretty good right now.

4) And the manager is.........

5) Catching, yeah we still have Salty, but was last year Tek's final goodbye? And if so, who is the backup catcher?

6) Usually I can't wait for game 1, now I'm trying to find a reason why I should care. We'll see who we can get, and the fiftieth snow of the year always makes you wish it were July in the middle of a pennant race (or barbecue).

77 Times and counting

2011-11-10T11:11:00.001-05:00

I was reading Matthew 18 and came across a passage about forgiveness. Peter, innocently enough, asked Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother, offering his own answer of 7 times. Jesus came back saying “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Matt 18:22. 77 times, so does that mean I can make a list of every fault someone does against me and then say to him “sorry bud, you got your chance.” While we may wish it were that way, it isn’t. Forgiveness is hard, I’ll admit it; as with many Italians (especially Sicilians) I can hold a grudge. I’ve tried to reform my ways, but still when my pride is damaged I can revert back to being angry instead of understanding. I think the biggest issue people have with forgiveness is that we all want justice. We don’t really like to let go of things, if Jimmy was mean to me I don’t want to just roll over and let him walk all over me. Here’s the thing though (well, two things), that isn’t what forgiveness is. Forgiveness doesn’t mean I say, “Oh it’s ok how you treated me, I don’t mind.” Forgiveness is us letting go of our damaged pride and seeing that person for how God sees them. Forgiveness means lowering down our walls and being more understanding. Is it right for people to hurt us? No, but if we hold it against them forever then we do more wrong than they did. Another note, forgiveness is necessary. An unforgiving person is not fun to be around. When you hold a grudge you end up bitter, cold, and angry with those around you. You put up walls that keep others out, even God. While it may be hard to forgive, it is necessary to do and as with all things God asks of us He will help us every step of the way.

We Just Have to Keep on Going Forward

2011-11-08T10:22:00.000-05:00

Ever feel tired? Not long day tired, not “five hour energy tired,” I mean days, weeks, or even months of stress building up tired. Well I’ve hit that wall. While I haven’t given up on hope (I tell everyone I never will) I have lost strength, or at least a sense of direction. ‘Where do you want me to go with this God?’ I’ve asked this many times in the past two weeks. Well, I’ve come to a conclusion, it doesn’t matter whether we know where we are going, if we listen to God we will surely get there. It may take our energy away, we may have to crawl, but if we listen to what God commands we will reach the goal He has set for us. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians about running a race and in verse 26 he says “I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air.” Later on in 2 Corinthians 4 he writes “we are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” Yeah life gets hard; yeah things can go terribly wrong. But the thing we can never forget is that God is in charge and that everything happens for a reason. The people that come into the world and the people that die, the friends we make and the friends we lose, all of this happens for a reason. What is that reason? Well, does it really matter? Sure I would love an answer, I would love it if God came down and said “Tay Tay, let me tell you WHY…” but it isn’t going to happen, and I’ll find out eventually. All that matters is that we keep running the race marked out for us, we can’t stop or back down, we just need to keep on going. Sometimes I remark that I need a break, but you don’t get those in life, you just need to pray for strength and keep on going forward.

We Need to Carry our Cross

2011-11-06T09:52:00.001-05:00

Ever do what you know is the right thing, but then question whether it was right to do it? Sure, we all have, and recently I went through a very taxing ordeal. Recently I lost a friend, maybe for a short while, maybe forever, and all I did to lose her was do what I know in my heart is what God wants me to do. I ended up losing something close to me, I ended up sacrificing a friendship for God, and it left me questioning myself, I asked ‘was it right what I did, or is it possible that I was in the wrong?’ I’ll spare you the details as they are unimportant to my post, but as always I will share some scripture. I was reading Matthew 16 (I’ve been a little lax in my readings) and came across verse 25-26 “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?” Yesterday I lost my life for the sake of God’s good work here on earth. I gave up a little piece of my plans, my desires, my wishes, and put them aside for what God told me to do. It cost me a lot, I won’t sugarcoat it and say that I feel good right now, actually I feel pretty bad. I don’t feel like I did something wrong though, I know that I carried my cross. For once I put God first in my life, for once I did something that was truly selfless. I lost a friend for God, it sounds odd to say but really, that is exactly what happened. Now, it may be hard, it may sting a little, but the reward is always great. God’s good is infinitely sweeter than the goodness here on earth. It’s tough to fully trust in Him, but once you get over that hump the burden is lifted.

Angels and Demons?

2011-10-29T21:44:00.001-04:00

Call it getting into the spirit of Halloween, but I got into an interesting and slightly disturbing conversation with a girl last night. There is this supposed “exorcism room” in the school (for those who haven’t yet guessed, it’s a rumor). Anyway, there was a girl who overheard our conversation and warned us saying that we shouldn’t mess with demonic things. I agreed with her, up to the point where she said she is Christian, but she studied the occult and demonology (is this a science?). My response (which I said only in my head) is this: why bother with demons at all? The devil is real, but as C.S. Lewis once wrote there are two risks, we can either hyper-focus on demons or not believe in them at all. Now, do I believe in exorcisms or possessions? Well, I can’t say for sure what I believe when it comes to demons, because so little is written in the Bible other than that the devil tempts man away from God. I do know this though; God is more powerful than the devil. There is no power of hell that can beat God, if we are strong in Christ then we are safe from harm. We cannot be physically harmed or taken over, because God is always watching over us and keeping us safe. Never did Jesus lose the battle between the devil, so what reason is there to fear him so? My philosophy is such, fear God and God alone. It doesn’t matter what the devil can do to us, because I know that God is stronger and will keep me safe from harm. Sure my life can get crazy at times, sure I may stray and fall to sin, but I am never out of God’s hand and grace and am therefore saved. Sure the devil desires to take us from God’s hand, but if we are strong in God we cannot be harmed. There is nothing to fear but God, all else is taken care of.

So Great is His Unfailing Love

2011-10-27T10:38:00.000-04:00

Well I couldn’t stay away from the blog forever. Honestly though I’ve been going through a lot the past two weeks and sometimes you just feel wrung out. It’s like I was at the end of my rope and didn’t really have the strength to tie a knot and hold on. That changed last night though. It is easy to forget about God, so much can happen in our lives that a few days that you forget to pray can really add up. That happened to me. I forgot where God was in my life, I lost sight of Him and when life began to crash down around me I suddenly realized the sad fact, I was alone. As I said, that changed last night. A good friend invited me to a prayer group they regularly attend, and the passage we read couldn’t have been more fitting. It’s long so I’ll spare you by not writing it out, but it came from Lamentations chapter 3. Lamentations is basically Job on steroids, all jokes aside it was written by a man who reflecting on Jerusalem’s destruction by the Babylonian empire. Imagine that, watching your home city completely trashed by ruthless soldiers, and there is nothing you can do about it. A few verses stuck out to me, the first 20 verses reflect on immense pain and loneliness but then verses 21-22 hit you, “Yet I call to mind and therefore have hope: because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.” Then there is verse 32 “Though He brings grief, He will show compassion, so great is His unfailing love.” A lot of bad things have happened in my life, not just recently, over the past two years. I can sit and moan, I can complain and whine, I can even give up. Here’s the thing though, we can’t lose hope, God will always be there to deliver us, sometimes in surprising ways. I wanted Him to appear in a storm cloud and tell me why He allowed pain in my life, instead He spoke quietly through a friend who by chance invited me to a prayer meeting I desperately needed. All I can say is “Thank you God, for you are so good as to never forget me or leave me. Though I leave you, you still love me. Such is true and unconditional love, something I need to learn to accept and put into practice in my own life.” Sometimes I feel that I should be taking my own advice, well before that I should take advice from the main source, God. It doesn’t matter what I go through, how weak I am, or how much I lose. I can lose everything that I ever loved but I will never lose God, and that is one thing that I can hold onto every day of my life.

Notice

2011-10-24T12:54:00.002-04:00

Just wanted to let my readers know that I will not be posting for some time, so I am sorry for that. I've coming off of a very eventful week and doubt I will have much time to write in the near future. Please keep reading though and as soon as I find myself in a position to write I will. Right now I think a period of reflection is best. God bless.

There Has to Be a Reason

2011-10-17T12:55:00.000-04:00

I’ve had a few more thoughts on the Book of Job lately, so here they are in my latest post. I was helping a friend with homework on Job yesterday and we got into an interesting discussion debating the question of whether or not God causes suffering or if He just allows it. In the Book, God has a bet with the devil saying that Job won’t curse Him even if he loses everything. My friend claimed that this was cruel on God’s part, and I admit it certainly does seem that way. Why would God so mercilessly allow the devil to ruin Job’s life? My question is this, why did God allow my dog to die at the age of three? Why did God allow my great Uncle who I just got to really know die of a stroke? Why did God allow the turmoil of last year’s issues in my life? The answer, well honestly I don’t know. But I do know this fact, God is good, and all good things come from Him. The key note I tried to stress to my friend is that the devil was the one who ruined Job’s life, not God. The devil took Job’s family, flocks, and health – God just gave him the freedom too. So is it cruel of God? Well, what about my examples from my own life, was God being cruel to me, or is it just that bad things simply happen to good people? Back when Job was written the Hebrew people had a very simplistic view of life; if you are a good man you have a good life and if you sin you have a bad life. Really, the author of Job is using his story as an example of the fact that life is not so simple. I demonstrated to my friend that a large chunk of the Old Testament is law; you’ve got parts of Exodus, and then Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. The magic formula said that if you follow these laws you will have a good life. Here’s the thing though, the world is imperfect because of sin. No one is perfect, and the world is in an imbalance because of it. Evil men live long prosperous lives while good men often suffer. Does that mean that God is bad or cruel, no, it just makes a statement about the fact that the devil can, and often does, ruin things in our lives by causing bad things to happen. This doesn’t mean that God doesn’t have any power or say though; God can use those bad things for His glory and our good. Through our struggles we can move on and do God’s work here on earth, completely reversing the devil’s work. God has the ultimate power to take a negative and turn it into a positive. Is that the reason for suffering? Well I think the reason for suffering is the simple fact that our world is an imperfect one, but the fact that God can use our suffering for good just goes to show you that ultimately He is always in control and looking out for us.

And the Verdict is.... GUILTY

2011-10-14T23:09:00.000-04:00

Look a late night post; just one of the many abilities college has given me, the not-so-super power of staying up past 10:00 pm. So what has kept me up this late? Well nothing much, just one of far too many scathing commentaries about the Boston Dead Sox. So what caused the downfall? Was it a dearth of timely hits? Bad chemistry? Terry Francona? Overweight pitchers underweight with talent? Well I think the answer can be found in the most basic sin, the one that the devil passed on to mankind, and that my friends is pride. Pride is what took the Red Sox by storm, and it’s ugly sister greed also had her fair share as well. Face it Sox fans, the Red Sox are what the Yankees were except they can’t win. Remember the evil empire? Remember Sox ownership denouncing the Yankees for stretching their tentacles down into other teams, breaking the bank for high priced players? Well do Adrian Gonzalez or Crawford ring a bell? Not that I’m criticizing the Sox for this. They are blessed to be a wealthy ball club and it would be foolish for them not to spend the money on good players because a team of good players will (or maybe “should” is a better word) win. Here’s my real issue though. Not with the Sox, with ownership. Let’s face it, the worst thing to happen to the Sox since the trade of Babe Ruth is NESN Sports Ventures (hyperbole? Maybe). When John Henry added LFC to his toy chest full of goodies I knew things were going downhill, I even wrote a post about it last year. The Sox aren’t his pride and joy anymore, instead they are just another cog in his money making machine. Until John Henry learns to pay attention to his possessions, instead of just seeing them as figures on a balance sheet, the Sox will never win. It wasn’t beer and chicken, it wasn’t Francona and Theo, it was John Henry and the NESN toy chest that killed the Red Sox.

Questions

2011-10-11T09:22:00.000-04:00

For one of my classes we had to read from the book of Job. Now for those who don’t know, Job was a good man who God allowed a lot of bad things to happen. Why? Well it’s not essential to the story, the whole book is a dialogue between Job and his friends trying to find out why God allowed Job to lose everything, instead though they should be asking “what God wants Job to do with his situation.” Life can be really hard, I’ve learned that lesson in the past two years and sometimes it can seem like you don’t get a break. Here’s the thing, life has no breaks but that doesn’t mean we have to go it alone. Job thought that after he lost his home and family that was it, but he wasn’t even close because in the end God appeared and blessed him more than he was before. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why does life have to be as hard as it is? Why is it so hard to do the right thing? Well I don’t know, honestly I have no idea, but I do know this, God is faithful and God is with us. No matter what you are going through you can bet God is there right by your side every step of the way. In one of the Narnia books there is a scene when someone is riding on a horse on the edge of a cliff in the fog and all they can do is keep going following Aslan (the God figure). It’s like that, even though sometimes I can’t see the next step in front of me, God is there directing me every step of the way and I needn’t have fear. Psalm 119: 105 says “Your word is a lamp to my feet, a light to my path.” Sometimes you don’t always get a spotlight, but a candle will always do the job.

Lessons Learned From Baseball

2011-10-10T14:45:00.000-04:00

I played in the annual “100 Inning Baseball Game” on Saturday. By a miracle I made it through 37 innings in 10 hours. The breakdown was 20 innings split between RF and CF, 12 innings behind the plate, and I finished the final 5 innings as a DH. I forget what inning it was, it must have been the 28^th or 29^th, either way I had been catching for a while and was exhausted. The most I had ever caught before was 3 innings, so 12 were very taxing on my body. In my previous at bat I struck out on three pitiful swings and was up at bat again, even more tired. We were stuck at 26 runs for a while and the other team was catching up. Basically, we needed a hit desperately. The pitcher threw a first pitch fastball, which I swung at with all my might and hit it deep, far, and foul down the right field line. Next pitch was a ball, and then he threw me a pitch low and outside. I swung my bat out as hard as I could and to my surprise squared up enough to hit a hot grounder up the middle for a single! Once on base there were a couple quick outs to which I responded with 2 barely stolen bases, finally scoring from 3^rd. By no means was I a hero. I didn’t hit a homerun; I barely squeaked a single up the middle. But I mustered the little strength I had and gave it my best in that last swing. Often in life it can feel that way. We can feel like we have no strength to carry on, that what we really want to do is take a break, but here’s the thing: life doesn’t stop for us, the game still has to be played. So what do we do? Well we can give up but then we let ourselves down. Or instead we can accept God’s grace and strength in our lives and succeed. Before my at bat I said “Look, right now I’m just a catcher, I’m not gonna get a hit.” Here’s the thing, God doesn’t give up on us, instead He carries us through. In life the last thing I want to see is another hurdle to jump, but I don’t have to jump it alone, more often than not God gives me a boost over to help me keep going and finish the race. You may feel that your energy is spent and that the mountain is too big to climb. Well you’re forgetting that you’ve got an entire energy reserve in God’s grace and love, that God can carry us through out trials to the other side. Even when the situation seems impossible, whether it be as basic as getting a hit after playing 28 exhausting innings or something as major as anything life throws at us, we’ve always got God on our side to back us up no matter what.

Moment of Perfection

2011-10-10T08:22:00.000-04:00

Here’s a post I wanted to write last week. It was Thursday night, my last night at Holy Cross before fall break. I had a lot of work to do and was taking a moment out of my day to go to evening Bible Study. It was one of those chilly fall days, I had my flannel shirt and barn jacket (typical farm clothes) and was walking up from the dining hall to the chaplains house. When I left the hall I was struck by the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen. A picture wouldn’t have come close to doing it justice. The sky was lit up a radiant pink and yellow while the east was a deep purple. I looked out at the city of Worcester and saw the purple rolling hills and the city all lit up preparing for a busy evening. It was then that I caught a moment of pure perfection, God’s grace untarnished by the sins of the world. It was that moment that was so perfect, that busy, stressful day, and then on a break from it all I see God’s glory in its finest. I believe God can speak to us in many ways, and on that night He was saying ‘Tay Tay, slow down.” Life can get fast, especially at college. Bad things happen, we go through loss, we take on stress, and sometimes we lose faith in ourselves. We cannot forget that one fact though, that God is always there with us, and will never let us go. You may think that you are too far, that you are out of God’s grace, heck you might even have given up a while ago. But God will not give up on us, and that sunset, that purity in my hectic day showed me that. You just have to have a little faith and a sense of adventure, because God can do some amazing things when you give Him the driver’s seat. I’ll never forget that evening, just as I will never lose faith in God’s goodness and His love.

He is Willing

2011-10-03T13:10:00.001-04:00

Lately I’ve been reading through the Gospels, I finished the Old Testament so now I am at Matthew. I always loved reading the Gospels, you get a chance to see God interact directly with His people, it’s always really neat. Anyway, one thing I love about the Bible is how God speaks through it to me, how He’ll use certain phrases to stick out as if to say “Tay Tay! Wake up and pay attention!” Anyway, I was reading Matthew 8, the passage where Jesus heals a man with leprosy. The man walks up to Jesus and says “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” And do you know what Jesus’ response is? “I am willing.” For some reason that verse just struck me, it really did. The simplicity of it, “I am willing” can almost be deceptive, but then you’d miss the significance. God is always willing to help us, no matter what we’ve done or where we are going. He will always be willing to heal us. God is the only thing that can truly sustain us and bring joy to our lives. Sure that man with leprosy thought he could stick it out for a while, but then seeing that on his own nothing was getting better he had to call out to God. And God was willing. I firmly believe that no matter what happens, when you turn to God and ask Him for help He will help you. When we bow our heads to prayer Jesus lifts us up and gives us His strength, and why? Because He is willing to, because He loves us so much that He paid the ultimate price to heal us fully. Sure life can get out of hand, sure things can go wrong and it can seem like there’s no way out. But God is always willing; God will never refuse His people or deny them His love. Sometimes we miss the little things in the Gospels, but often it is these little phrases that show how much God truly loves us.

Did I Read That Right?

2011-09-29T21:18:00.000-04:00

While I may be feeling physically ill, mentally I have not missed a beat. So here I am exhausted and writing yet another post on the blog. Usually I enjoy reading Peter Abraham’s blog “Extra Bases” on Boston.com. I actually emulate him a little taking notes on how he incorporates humor into his writing. However, today I found a reason to be very upset with him. Today Abraham wrote a post about Gonzalez and Crawford, the main theme being that because Gonzo claimed that it was not God’s plan for the Sox to win the World Series, he isn’t taking responsibility. Crawford on the other hand said over and over again how sorry he was, and therefore was taking responsibility. For some reason Abraham took something Gonzo said out of context so he’d have something to write. When I hit a roadblock, when I lose a friend, when my dog passes away, when I can’t seem to find my way, it all has to go back to God. Not that God is causing these bad things to happen to me, but He allows them to happen and uses them for His glory. I don’t think God cares much about whether the Sox win or lose, but I think He cares very much that Adrian Gonzalez can use that loss for His glory. Bad things happen, very often they are much worse than the Sox not going to the playoffs, but isn’t the best way to deal with suffering or misfortune to say “I am going to look for God in this and turn it around for Him.” Gonzo wasn’t avoiding responsibility; he was using the loss as a way to profess his faith. He’s not going to cry, spit, swear, or throw the water cooler, instead he’s going to calmly admit that it was not their time, that they have many years to win the World Series in the future and for now, there is nothing that can be done.

Note

2011-09-28T16:05:00.001-04:00

Note: I was worried I wouldn't have time to post while at Holy Cross. Gratefully God has not let up on teaching me valuable lessons through the Word and my life, giving me plenty to write about. Seeing that this is my 9th post of the month I don't think I missed a beat. Just wanted to say thanks to all those who bother to read my random thoughts, I will try to keep up writing as usual.

Look at the Bright Side

2011-09-28T16:04:00.001-04:00

Well here we are, September 28 2011, what could be the last day of the Red Sox’ season. I’m pretty sure I wrote a post similar to this last year. It seems we can draw many comparisons to both years. Both the 2010 and 2011 teams were pegged to win the World Series, win 100 games, and beat the dreaded Yankees. Both teams had slow starts, both overcame them by June, and by July both seemed on their way to winning the AL East. Then both teams had some key injuries and then in August and September they fell apart. Here’s the thing though, yeah blowing a 9 game lead in the Wild Card is historic (in a bad way), but the fact remains that the Sox are, and will remain, my team. We all like to whine and complain while we toss out pink hats in the trash. But then we forget the reason we watch baseball in the first place, because we simply enough love to watch those men in white take the field every day so we can kick back and relax on a summer night. It’s not always about whether they win or lose (although I like it when they win), it’s the experience and memories we build while watching. I want the Sox to win tonight, but if they don’t I forgive them, and eagerly look forward to next summer when I can again kick back in the leather recliner chair and enjoy a good ballgame.

Strength in Numbers

2011-09-26T22:54:00.001-04:00

So I heard a very interesting message yesterday in church, especially applicable considering what I’ve been going through. A couple big points for what’s been going on in my mind lately. First off, if I could sum up the past week it’s in one phrase: it’s all about God. That’s it. It’s not about me, not how strong I am, how athletic I am, how smart I am, what brands I wear, how good looking I am, how well my team is doing… I could go on forever, because very often we do. Far too often we all base out self worth on stuff that really does not matter. In God’s eyes that whole list doesn’t matter, and why doesn’t it matter? Well, simply put, because God loves us, because He gave us His Son Jesus to dies for our sins. We have that grace, that is what truly matters. It is through God we can do all things. My favorite verse has always Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Outside of that, nothing matters. Without God I am an 18-year-old kid trying to make sense of the world. It is through Jesus I find my strength and who I really am. By no means is this grace “free” yes it is freely given to those who freely accept it, but it was bought at a price for us, and God paid that price in full. It is not by the laws, but by Jesus we are saved (I think Paul said something to that effect). Through that grace we can live as God commanded us and we can do anything. In the end it all goes back to God. Apart from God we can’t do anything, but through Him we can accomplish the unimaginable. I’ve been reading the Sermon on the Mount; it’s heavy stuff I can’t lie. But through God’s grace we can live as Jesus commanded, it just takes a little faith. My life hasn’t been easy, so these words haven’t been easy to write, but they are eternal truths that God reveals to me time after time and won’t relent until they are written on my heart. While it may be painful to be reminded, I thank God for being there to remind me when I need it most.

So Now What?

2011-09-22T10:47:00.002-04:00

You know what’s really frightening? When you realize that you eventually grow up. I have to admit I’ve been really struggling lately. I used to think I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I thought I wanted to play for the Red Sox, or dig up dinosaur bones, or own a restaurant, or the most practical: be a lawyer. Now I’ve found that I don’t have a clue, but here’s the thing, God does. God knows what I will do with my life, so why is it so hard for me to trust Him? It’s simple right, just pray about it and wait on an answer. Here’s the thing, no one wants the simple answer, they feel that life should be harder than it is. You know what I am really afraid of? Waking up at the age of forty with a family to support and a job I hate but need to pay the bills. I thought I knew what I wanted in life, now I know I don’t have a clue. I like to write, I am strong in my faith, I like working with kids, and I like baseball. So what I can do, be paid to be me? I pray that someday God will show me who I am going to be, I wouldn’t mind a neon sign every now and then. I wrote a few weeks ago how great Holy Cross has been for my faith because being on my own has forced me to trust God more. Well I never thought how true my words would really be! One more thing I’ve noticed, it has caused me to be more honest. I don’t have anyone to hide behind anymore, it’s just God and me now, and no one else I can rely on. I don’t know what I am going to do with the rest of my life, but I do know one thing: I have faith in God, who has a plan for me, and if I listen for His voice I will live out that plan.

Did They Win?

2011-09-20T08:57:00.001-04:00

Unfortunately due to the increased workload and lack of a T.V. I have not been able to watch much of the Sox lately. However, that changed last night when I went to a game with my uncle and a friend. All I can say is I feel out of the loop. Never have I seen Fenway Park so angry, the whole place (which was ¾ full) buzzed like a swarm of bees. Yeah Lackey was terrible, but even in the offensive surge there were few cheers. In April or May when Lowrie hit that bomb to left there would have been music playing and everyone would have stood up clapping. Instead the ballpark remained silent, as if 3 runs weren’t good enough. I remember in April when I went to Beckett’s 2^nd start of the season, when he pitched 7 or 8 innings and shut down the Jays. Now that was a game, that was excitement. Last night it felt like someone let the air out of the bag, it was like all of Fenway was punched in the gut and still reeling back. All I can say is that if the Sox are going to keep on winning they need the support of the fans, they need the atmosphere that makes Fenway truly magical, not just another ballpark. 2^nd, it’s just a baseball game, whatever happened to the simple joy of getting a sausage and pepper sandwich, a coke, a box of cracker jack, and watching the game? Win or lose the Sox are my team, any game I get a chance to go to is a blessing (and an excuse not to do work).

New Questions to Ask

2011-09-12T08:57:00.000-04:00

Whew what a weekend. Who knew that in addition to academics I’d also be learning a ton about myself, that’s the idea of life isn’t it? Anyway I digress. When confronted with suffering I used to feel a need to explain it, a rational discourse on why God allowed x, y, and z to happen in my life. Now I realize that there isn’t always an explanation for why, but we must instead ask the question where and what. “Where God, are you in this?” “What God, do you want me to do with this?” I went through a couple of tough losses last summer (2010), and I have to admit, I became bitter. I was angry and indignant. “Why should this happen to me?” I asked, I felt that I deserved better. Well now I’ve realized something, while I cannot explain what happened last year, I can use it for God’s glory and the good of others. Through my experience I now know how to pray for those in similar situations, I now know what to say to those who are hurting, because of what happened to me I can be a better friend, brother, and more importantly a better man of God. While God didn’t give me the miracle I wanted, He did rebuild my life, and make me into someone so much better than I was. The tears of pain I shed last year are now tears of joy. Tears that express my joy and love in the Lord, how happy I am now that everything is all right, and that I am closer to Him because of it. While there may not always be a reason as to why, there is always an answer to the questions “where” and “what.”

Prayer

2011-09-11T08:51:00.000-04:00

I would like to take this time to write a prayer for all those affected by the disaster on 9/11/01. It is easy to get sucked into the petty things of life, the Red Sox, quiz grades, bickering with the people around you. Yet at times like this we realize that there has to be something more to life than the day to day that we go through. A friend said that even though we have a capacity for evil, we also have a capacity for love, and because of that God will always win in the end. I pray for those affected, whether you lost a family member, friend, or just someone you knew. I pray that God give us strength, and hope, so that we might rise above this and go forth in His name. I pray that through this God show us His grander purpose, that though the devil devastated our lives God show us how He plans to shine through. I pray that we never forget that a life lived in Christ, no matter how long or short, is a life lived rich in meaning, and that is all that really matters. I pray that God comfort those who mourn, and that they find strength in God. Also, I pray that we come together as brothers and sisters, one body, under Christ. Amen.

Did I Hear You Right?

2011-09-10T19:07:00.000-04:00

Finally finding some down time I thought to myself, why not write a blog post? So here I am. I enjoyed an overnight retreat through the campus ministry and had some time to reflect and have a few posts I want to write. This one has been on my mind for a while, and so here it goes. I wrote a post called “We’ve got to come together” about how the catholic and protestant churches need to come together as one church under one God, and for some reason they never do. While I love the ministry at Holy Cross, I got into an interesting discussion with one of the chaplains. I was talking about getting involved and going to Mass, but was told that because I am technically Presbyterian (even though I am baptized Catholic) I cannot take communion. I was shocked, it was like someone slapped me, threw water at me, and slapped me again. ‘Not take communion, what do you mean!’ I thought to myself. I was then told I could “at my own discretion.” Here’s my reasoning, after I die I sincerely hope to be welcomed into the kingdom of God and once there sit in company of Jesus, my Lord and Savior, and eat with Him. If I will eat with Him then, why shouldn’t I be allowed to eat with Him now? God is my Savior and Lord, and under His law I live my life, to not take communion (despite me being a believer) I feel would be more wrong than taking it in a church I am not a member. We are one body in Christ and must eat with our Savior as one body. No exclusions, no blessings, just everyone sitting at the feet of Jesus and following His command “take and eat.” He didn’t say “take and eat, but only if you follow this church…” No, in John 17:20-21 Jesus prays “I pray also for those who believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.” No division, no exclusions, just one big happy family. Until then the church can never fully carry out the work that our Lord gave us before He left.

1st Post at HC

2011-09-02T07:47:00.000-04:00

So far my time at Holy Cross has been very good, a few notes though on my spirituality. When away from home there are always endless temptations and sorrows. I miss my family, dogs, and home cooking. I have no one to tell me when I’m wrong, when to go to bed, or when to go to church. Despite all this I have found that I am growing closer to God, not farther away. The fact that I am, for the most part, on my own means that I must rely so much more on God than before. When I was at home I relied on my parents for support, and my own strength as well. Here, there is no one to rely on by God. I’m not sure whether it is the spiritual presence that God has here, or that fact that I need Him more, but the past few days have been a spiritual rise for me. I know full well that, as always, the devil will do everything he can to trip me up and take me from God’s hands, but I also know this, nothing can ever separate me from the love of God or take away my faith. I will face disappointment, pain, and heartache as time goes on, but what I won’t experience is the loss of God’s light and the hope for His presence in my life. My blogging will subside as the school year continues, I am used to posting 10, sometimes 15 times a month. It is my fear that the average may decline down to 5-10. Either way it has been an incredible ride and the journey has just begun. For now, I have some homework that must be attended to.

Last Post at Home

2011-08-26T18:30:00.001-04:00

Here I am, at my desk, waiting until tomorrow morning when I can go to Holy Cross. Aside from all the sentimental stuff (for the lack of a better word) I can write, really, are a simple prayer and one lone observation. First the observation. A lot has happened to me over the past few years. I asked God for an inch and he gave me a mile, or make that 1,000,000,000… you get the point right? While I may fail to reach the perfection demanded by a perfect God, while like Peter I may leave other second guessing (and even myself), while the devil actively does all that he can to tear me apart from my Creator I know one thing. I will never lose faith, and certainly not hope. If my faith wasn’t strong enough for the mustard seeds I would have lost in long before now. I learned a lot about faith, hope, and love. The most important thing I learned to do is hold on, when life starts whipping you back and forth, you hold on to what you have, the sincere belief in an all powerful God, and you will come out the victor. One verse I especially feel is pertinent to this post is Romans 8:38-39 “Yes, I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor ruling spirits, nothing now, nothing in the future, no powers, nothing above us, nothing below us, nor anything else in the world will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.” Key word there, nothing, nothing can separate us from God’s love; nothing can cause God to give us up. Now for the prayer. Lord, I just want to take this time to thank you for everything that I have. Not just the “stuff” and material things, but bigger things too. Thanks for my family, my dad, and also my mom whom I never thank enough for all she does for me. Thanks for my sisters, and my dogs too. Thank you for being there when I needed you, and even when I didn’t realize my need for your presence. Thank you for getting me here, thanks for giving me faith, hope, and love, all of which I needed and still need. I don’t ask for fame or fortune in my life, no, instead I ask that over the next four years, and years to come, that I grow in my faith, become more like you, and walk in your footsteps. More than anything else Lord, of my life I want it to be said that I followed You, please give me the strength and wisdom to do so. Thank you Father for the gifts I have been given, it is my one desire to not put them to waste. In Jesus’ name Amen.

They Will Be Missed

2011-08-21T17:24:00.000-04:00

Here’s a list of things I will miss while at Holy Cross

1) Waking up in my own bed in the morning.

2) Hugging my dogs at breakfast.

3) Watching the Red Sox in the comfortable recliner chair.

4) Homemade Italian food.

5) My family (have to throw that in there).

6) Cooking in my kitchen.

7) Having tons of free time to blog.

8) Walking in at the end of the day to the smell of dinner.

9) Playing baseball.

10) Last but definitely not least, going to my church every Sunday morning and seeing all my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Reflections

2011-08-21T14:49:00.000-04:00

One week until I embark on a new journey, college life at Holy Cross. As I sat in my last service at Newton Presbyterian Church I could not help but reflect on the last seven years of my Christian life, July of 2005 being the year I decided to give my life to Jesus. There are many who “don’t get it” with me, some more who made fun of me, either in public or private. To them I have nothing to say other than that it is through my faith I found my life. God saved my life, literally He did, I have no idea where I would be now, but I certainly wouldn’t be typing at this computer preparing to go to Holy Cross if God didn’t intervene. While the theologic (my new word) of faith is much more complicated than that, there is my basic reasoning, God took a selfish, angry, and hopeless boy and miraculously turned him into the man I am today. I have my faults, doubts, and blemishes. But I am not lacking hope, faith, joy, or love. I have my fears for the future; fears about college debts, what I’m going to do, whether to have a family, the trials that come with having a family…. I finally realized I will grow up and become an adult; my question is what kind of an adult? I could only hope to be like my own father, I mean he did okay with me didn’t he? One reason though I needn’t have fear is this. A lot has happened to me over the course of my life, in some instances it feels like I’ve been to hell and back, yet one constant remains, that is God. No matter what happens to me, whether I become rich or poor, married or alone, successful or a tremendous failure, I know God will be right by my side giving me strength for ever challenge or ordeal. No matter what life or the devil throws at me I know God is there, never leaving me completely on my own. God says to Joshua before he leads the Israelites out of the desert “be strong and courageous for I am with you” or something to the effect. I know firsthand that this is true, there is nothing to fear for I know God has taken me out of the dust and brought me life and will continue to lead me wherever I go.

Follow The Call

2011-08-17T10:24:00.000-04:00

I once used the phrase “God is making me eat my words right now.” While I doubt that God would do something as course as that, He certainly does challenge us to be better people and come closer to Him. My lack of posting energy can be attributed towards that. There are two verses that used to challenge me, and as I read through The Cost of Discipleship they come back into view. The first one is Romans 6: 1-2 “What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” The next verse is James 2:14 “What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds?” Bonhoeffer writes a lot about two suppositions, one is that those who obey have faith, and two is that those who have faith obey. They work together as a circle, but alone are two extremes, the latter being more dangerous as it leads to “cheap” grace. My question has always been this, what can I do to get God’s grace, and can I ever lose it? The answer, I am finding, is simple (only in terms of length), to get God’s grace we need only to respond to Christ’s call to follow Him (thus Bonhoeffer’s obedience leads to faith). While we cannot ever lose God’s love we can lose His influence in our lives. Lately I’ve come to realize that I was relying on “cheap” grace. I was finding consolation in the fact that “it’s okay because God still loves me.” One thing I’ve realized though is this, it’s not okay. Whether you call someone names or steal thousands from a bank, it’s not okay because the effects and consequences are still there, not only those who are harmed but us too. Grace, as Bonhoeffer puts it, justifies the sinner, yet through God’s perfection it condemns the sin. Paul writes later in Romans that we are “dead to sin and alive to Christ.” That is what the true Christian life is about. I used to think that a Christian is no different than any other man except he is forgiven, that couldn’t be more wrong. To follow Jesus’ call means dropping what your doing and following Him. It’s hard, it was hard to give up baseball, and it’s hard to forgive the past, but the end result in communion with God is far sweeter than any homerun.

The Price is Right

2011-08-15T10:48:00.002-04:00

Well I am back sooner than promised, which I suppose is agood thing. Honestly I was going through a rough time in my faith and didn’t feellike writing, but then again, if it’s not hard it’s not real, if I had noproblems then I would have something to worry about. Back to the post; you knowa book is good when you read the first two pages and already have something towrite about. I’ve been reading The Costof Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a minister during WWII. Bonhoefferwas killed in a concentration camp in 1945, sadly as the war was ending. Thatdoesn’t make his life wasted though, as I said, even if we die young we diewith purpose and that is really all that matters. What struck me is the initialdistinction between “cheap grace” and “costly grace.” Bonhoeffer writes thatcheap grace justifies the sin while costly grace justifies the sinner. I can’tagree more. Too often in the modern church we shy away from God’s perfectionand our contrasting sin. We say “Oh of course it’s all right” to a number ofsins, instead of admitting we are wrong. For a long time I have been doing thisand it finally caught up with me, sometimes you need to see the consequences ofyour sin to realize it is wrong. Bonhoeffer’s point isn’t “we are evil and aregoing to hell” no he very much emphasizes God’s love and grace. His point isthat grace is not without cost. That we cannot use it to justify our sins,instead justify ourselves before God. In no way is sin ever “good”, but by God’sgrace we can be. As I continue reading there will be more to write and it willprobably be clearer and better thought out. Until then enjoy the all-too quicklyfading summer.

So, what do I write about?

2011-08-13T16:27:00.003-04:00

So, as for observations go I have few so far. There has been a lot on my mind though, just nothing in written form, or close to written form just yet. I will start reading The Cost of Discipleship on my continuous search for answers. One thing has been made very clear, without God I am nothing, and the harder I try to be "good" the farther I fall. That's the meaning of grace though isn't it? Just a quick thought, something that has been on my mind.

Road Work Ahead

2011-08-13T10:10:00.002-04:00

Unfortunately my blogging efforts may continue to be stalled. Call it writer's block, whatever it is I have it and until then won't be writing much. August always was my best month for blogging, sure stinks that it is the month this year that I find myself with the inability to write consistently.

The Natural?

2011-08-07T14:43:00.003-04:00

So, here’s another random post.Long story short I’m not on the Cape, so I’ve got some down time to write. Ijust finished reading The Natural, itis one of my favorite movies so I thought why not read the book. Another longstory short, the movie is nothing like the book. The Roy Hobbs in the movie isbrave, courageous, forgiving, and selfless. The Roy Hobbs of the book isselfish, angry, resentful, and a womanizer. He even took the judge’s money andfixed the game by striking out to end it! My first thought was that I liked themovie better. Then my second was that they set up an interesting contrast, andbecause everything in my life goes back to God, here we go. Roy Hobbs (book) isa real character, while Roy Hobbs (movie) isn’t (aren’t all Hollywood movieslike that?). The Roy Hobbs of the book shows us that no matter your talent,fame, or fortune, without God you are nothing. Sounds harsh right, but it’strue. Roy loses it all, fame, glory, love, only to realize at the end he isalone. Roy had it all, but lost it all when he let greed instead of God takeover. In church today we talked about the parable Jesus told of the guy withthe vineyard who paid everyone equally despite the fact they worked differenthours (imagine working 12 hours to make the same amount a guy worked 2 hoursfor). Anyway the thing is this, the guy who worked all day was asking forjustice, well if God were to give us all justice we certainly wouldn’t be goingto Heaven. Wait, Tay Tay say what? That’s right, if God were to give me justiceno way could I stand before Him deserving Heaven, it is by His grace that I amallowed in. Without God we aren’t much, I’m just another kid from Boston tryingto make sense of the world, but with Him we can be extraordinary, a creationwith a relationship and purpose from the Creator. Maybe the book wasn’t that bad, the reason wedidn’t like it was because it acted as a mirror upon ourselves.

I Need A Vacation

2011-08-03T17:04:00.001-04:00

While I would like to continue riding the tidal wave of blog posts from July into August, I will be in the Cape for the next week and a half. So until then I'll get some rest, fish and chips, and unfortunately put my blogging on hold. I'll make up for it when I get back though. Until then God bless and enjoy the remainder of the summer.

Red Sox Update

2011-08-03T10:11:00.002-04:00

Don’t look now but I’m writing a sports post. For somereason I haven’t written much on sports, maybe it’s the fact that I’m focusingmore energy on God, or maybe there is less to be said. Either way I’m writingnow. Anyone notice that the Yankees are one game behind the Red Sox? I don’tknow about you but I for one think that it is hard to believe and cause forconcern. The Yankees really aren’t that good of a team, let’s be honest outsideof Texiara, Cano, Granderson, and Swisher they don’t have much of an offense.The Sox beat them all around and their pitching leaves much to be desired. Sohow are they only a game behind? Lester’s return couldn’t have come at a bettertime (I think that’s why the swapped him with Bedard in the rotation) the Soxneed a good pitching staff and need to win games. This series versus the Yankeescould be a defining moment in the season. They have the opportunity to sink theYanks back into the division or fall behind for the first time in months. TheYankees aren’t going to disappear, and unless the Red Sox turn it on like theydid in June and July then they will fall behind. Bedard’s success is crucial,the Sox need a 3^rd started because Lackey has shown that he won’tcut it when it counts. A 1-2-3 will be needed when your 4-5 have shown aninability to be consistent and dominant.

This Could Only Happen To Me

2011-08-03T10:05:00.002-04:00

So here’s my first random post in quite some time, thenagain this a random blog so the name demands it. I was visiting a friend inBoston the other day and took the T in. I always loved taking the T because yousee the most interesting people you’d ever meet; some people bring books toread but I like to stay alert. Anyway, I was waiting for the outbound train togo home and there was a man playing the guitar and singing. A homeless (Ipresume) man sat down next to me and told me that the man needed to tune hisguitar. We soon got to talking and had a nice conversation while I waited formy train. It turned out that he was on the same train so I walked down the carto where he was sitting and started talking to him. You won’t believe this, hetold me “No, I don’t do that, this day is closed” and wouldn’t talk to me. Onone hand I got blown off by a homeless guy, on the other I now have yet anotherinteresting story to add to my collection. Then I had another thought, I wasthinking about that book Tattoos on theHeart and the Jesuit saying of “seeing God in all things” and that veryoften (as a man in the book said) God is the person right in front of you. Icould have blown that man off, instead I chose to listen, I saw God inhim. Jesus said that whenever you do somethingfor the homeless, those in prison, or widows you do it for him, so I was gladthat I had an opportunity to show one person that they are cared for. Still, Iwish I didn’t get blown off.

More on Jonah

2011-07-31T08:42:00.002-04:00

Didn’t thinkI’d be writing about Jonah this extensively, but then again, God does speak tous in new ways, so here is yet again another post on the book of Jonah. Whilethe in the belly of the fish (or whale) Jonah prays to God in a psalm (atleast, I think it’s a psalm) and in it he says in 2:8 “those who cling toworthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.” Pretty powerful stuffright, and also pretty harsh as well. It’s one of those things that you justhave to sit back and think about. Think. What am I clinging to, what are youclinging to? Because whatever it is, compared to the grace of God it isworthless. There are so many things out there that we want, acceptance, fame,money, glory, clothes, admiration; the list really can go on and on. Added tothat there are just as many ways we go about worshiping those things, andcoping with the pain when we don’t get them. But in the end, they are allworthless! Why? That’s my question, why cling, why chase after these thingswhen deep down we know they won’t fill us up, when you actually reach your goalyou stop and look back and say “You know, I thought it would feel better thanthis.” Recently I’ve made a tough decision to “retire” from baseball. Why? WellI made the varsity team, this was my goal for four years, I trained and sweatand pushed myself and despite the odds made it. When I got to the top andlooked back I said “You know, for all the work and effort, I thought I’d behappier.” Worthless idol, that’s what it was really, didn’t fill me up andinstead left me only wanting more. What are you clinging to in your life?Whatever it is it’s keeping you from the grace of God that is all satisfying. That’sthe devil’s whole plan, not like in the movies like The Omen where he goes out and kills people physically. No, insteadall he tries to do is get you to put something up that takes the place of Godin your life, to trick you into thinking a relationship with God doesn’trequire work. That’s it really, to keep us from the grace and love of God thatwill truly satisfy us. I say this, don’t let him, cast those idols down and runto God and accept His love in its purest form. Don’t pull a Jonah and wait for awhale to swallow you to make you realize what you’re missing.

Flashback of Sorts

2011-07-27T21:58:00.002-04:00

So I had a flashback of sorts to last year tonight,although, I think de ja vu is a better term. Today I went with my father and afriend to a Bible study at a juvenile detention center. The flashback was to mytrip to Belize where I worked with kids on a three-gang street. Pretty much allthese kids came from a rough life, did something wrong, and ended up in jailfor it. Some of them realized that and desired to change their lives and getback to God, that’s where I come in. I have to admit I was nervous, going to adetention facility can be that way, added to that I felt out of placeconsidering I’ve had a pretty good life and am on the “right track.” Here’s theamazing thing, I’m not sure if it was God’s voice or not but the minute I satdown at the table with the two young men who were attending I thought to myself“I will see both of these guys in Heaven.” I thought to myself ‘where’d thatcome from, out of all the thoughts racing through my head why this one?’ Thenit hit me, before God we’re all equal, I’m no better, no more loved, and noless loved than these young men. It doesn’t matter who I am, where I’m from, orwhat I’ve done God will always love me just as much as the next guy. We werereading the book of Jonah; you know the one with the guy and the whale (orfish). Anyway the part that really struck out to me was this; Jonah was selfrighteous, he didn’t want to preach to the people of Nineveh because he thoughthe was better than them. The people of Nineveh were sinful and when faced withGod’s judgment asked for forgiveness. Here’s the thing, both need God’s grace,Jonah may be a prophet but he is still far from God and the people of Nineveh maybe sinful but are not too far gone from God’s love. So then my revelation madeperfect sense, both I and the men with me were in the same boat, we needed God’sgrace, we saw a need, we got our need fulfilled. I pray to God that I will keepmy faith and these young men will too and we may see each other again. If thatwas God’s voice all I can say is thank you for being clear, I could certainlyget used to it.

Be Yourself

2011-07-27T10:49:00.003-04:00

Here’s another lesson learned from Tattoos on the Heart and also from life. I have to admit, lately I’vebeen feeling drained. I haven’t been as close to God as I once was and theeffect has not been very good on me. I went to a boxing class the other day andthis morning had a flashback to last year in Belize when I “boxed” with a bunchof little kids in the city. They had a blast, throwing punches at me, jumpingon my back putting me in a headlock, it was the most fun I could ever have in 100-degreeweather. Then it hit me, I know what I love to do, so why am I going intocollege not following the heart God put in me, but instead following expectationsof the world? What I love is to write (obviously), I like law and might go tolaw school, and I love working with kids. What I am going into collegeexpecting to take are “practical courses.” Then I realized something, I’ve gotone life to live here on earth and a few gifts given to me by God, it is my jobto find out what they are and to use them for His glory. For some people onepath may be right, but it isn’t right for me, I know what God gave me a passionfor, what’s wrong with simply following it? What am I waiting for, jobsecurity, success? Well success isn’t always measured in results; often it can bemeasured in joy and how close I am to God. If what brings me to God is readingbooks, studying law, and speaking Italian then I better get a move on and dothose things. For so long we try to be something we’re not, when all God evermade us to be was ourselves.

When Will You Decide

2011-07-26T17:42:00.002-04:00

I started this post, but it came off as weak and lame, sohere is take two, from the top. This summer for me has been all about faith,not the question as to whether or not I believe, but how to add a spark to myfaith, to make it alive. It is easy to get bogged down in religion, whoa there;yes I said it is easy to get bogged down in religion. Religion is a list ofrules and creeds, believe this, do this, bada bing, bada boom, there you go.But the thing is this, religion is boring, and generally makes you feel bad. Ihate that feeling I get when I realize I messed up, yeah according to the bookof Leviticus I’m not doing too well. Lately I’ve been reading Micah, one of theminor prophets (minor as in size, not content), and in chapter 6 God’s going onabout what He wants of us. Verse 8 says “And what does the Lord require of you?To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” Not, beperfect, not give me your best animals or your firstborn, just follow my lead.I was bored out of my mind today, I had no one to talk to and had tons of workto get done. Then it hit me, just like how we desire relationships with otherpeople, God wants a relationship with us. He doesn’t want us to follow a bunchof rules, He wants to talk with us, hear us, and have us listen to Him. So, howdo we do that, well we’ve got to live like Him, become like Him, and know Him.Only a friend can recognize a friend, and so we need to know God like a friend.That is where the changes need to start, when you accept God in your life a fewminor changes may take place (sometimes major ones) but most of the work is inour hands, we’ve got to change ourselves, God can’t do it for us. In Tattoos on the Heart Greg Boyle recountsa conversation with a former gang member in which he is asked when the violencewill stop, his response was when you decide. When will I decide to change, whenwill I welcome Jesus’ call and step out of the boat, when will I rise to theoccasion and fulfill God’s plan for me? God can’t answer that, in fact no onecan, only I can. A relationship takes work, effort, and sacrifice, but theresults are sweet and overwhelming. Talk is easy, it’s actions that speak out,I decide.

Top Ten So Far

2011-07-25T18:58:00.001-04:00

Here's the top ten biggest surprises about the Sox thus far.

1) They'd actually be able to win 100 games assuming they continue playing this well.
2) Beckett's ERA would be under 3.
3) Ellsbury would be 3rd in home runs on the team.
4) Even more, he has more home runs than A-Roid.
5) Adrian Gonzalez is the next Ted Williams, no surprise for me here.
6) Carl Crawford started off looking like Theo's biggest mistake, give him time he'll get better.
7) Pap only blew one save, his ERA on the other hand, that was expected.
8) Ortiz is better than last year, who knew?
9) Dice-K is still on the team somewhere, we're still looking for him.
10) Manny failed a drug test and promptly retired, yeah he's not on the Sox but c'mon, it was a shock.

Confession

2011-07-24T12:27:00.002-04:00

As I sit in church I’ve always had this thought, and nowin light of my reading the SpiritualExercises I feel it almost unavoidable. One thing I’ve noticed in mychurch, while I still love it, is that they don’t really give you much time forconfession. The Catholic Church has always been criticized for focusing toomuch on our sins, and I think the Protestant church may be guilty of notfocusing enough. While it is wrong to say that in God’s eyes we are worthlessand are not able to receive His love because of it, it is equally wrong, andperhaps more so, to say that we deserve His gift of salvation. Looking back onmy life I can see that I stopped deserving God’s love rather early, hey, didn’twe all. There’s no one on earth who is perfect, not even Mother Theresa for allshe did deserves Heaven. At one time or another she acted in a way that is notcompatible with God’s perfection and glory. If even Mother Theresa isn’tdeserving, how much so am I. That is where grace comes in, and that is wheretrue appreciation of God’s love also comes in. It’s not that I took Jesus’sacrifice for granted, but I guess I just forgot how imperfect and undeservingof it I am. You can say all you want about this post, how I’m focusing too muchon guilt, how we’re redeemed, and you’re right, when we accept Jesus and Hisgift of life we are redeemed before God. Yet, the only thing that can reallystop a man from getting help is when he refuses to acknowledge a need for it.So what am I saying, that instead of 60 seconds confessions should be 90? No,that’s to specific, but if it weren’t such a rush, if it were more of the focusof our worship then that would be better. Not to mean that all church should beis praying for forgiveness, but true worship of God, where similes includeadoration, reverence, love, and devotion, demands that we truly focus on Hisperfection and our imperfection, and His love for us despite the contrast. Thenand only then can we truly appreciate and understand what God did for us sothat we may enjoy a life with Him, and more importantly for Him.

Water Balloons and Whales

2011-07-21T20:41:00.002-04:00

Today, or rather, this evening I was filling water balloons.Why is not very important, my job is a camp counselor and because of the heatwe need them, so I needed to make a lot. This post isn’t going to be aboutwater balloons though, well, it will be but I hope that isn’t the main pointyou get out of it. Yesterday I filled up about 80, today I made 155 in half thetime. No this isn’t a math problem, I filled the balloons up yesterday with asort of squirt gun, but upon seeing it broke I first threw it (yeah, not mybest moment) then looked at the hose, which had a “jet” setting perfect forfilling….water balloons. So, why bore you with this story? Well, I got tothinking, lately I’ve faced some disappointment in my life. I’m the kind of guywho likes to make a plan and follow it, if things don’t go right I get thrownoff, who doesn’t right? Then, as I filled my water balloons I realized something,maybe what I really need is to step back and approach things in a new way.Maybe my way is the wrong way, the tedious way, and God’s way is better. Notjust faster or more successful but more fulfilling, more of what I need. I justfinished Jonah, and one thing that jumped out is that Jonah basically said “NahGod, I’m going my own way, thanks but no thanks.” God’s reply couldn’t beclearer, and sometimes I wish a whale would swallow me when I make the wrongdecision. But that doesn’t happen, I live a good hour from the coast, and Godisn’t always that clear. I get so wrapped up on “doing the right thing” whenmaybe instead I should focus on listening to and obeying what God has to say, thinkabout it, will He ever tell me to do the wrong thing?

Bridges, Decisions, and Whatnot

2011-07-19T14:35:00.002-04:00

You know, Ithink the scariest time in anyone’s life is when they take a good long look atthemselves and realize that they aren’t a kid anymore. I used to joke that I’dnever change, that I’d be fifty and still be the same old Tay Tay, still lovebaseball, still use bad grammar, and still make the same bad jokes. I’verealized something though, I’m not the same as I was a month ago, but thatdoesn’t mean I’m not me. Lately, I think, I’ve matured a bit. I’ve come torealize that actions have consequences, that there are more important things inlife to care about, and that ultimately I need to make the right decisionsbecause they won’t be made for me. It’s scary; it’s frightening to think thatthe decisions I make now could affect me years later. I made a decision to goto Holy Cross, that will affect what friends I make, what job I get out ofcollege, and who I marry. Now, I’m making a decision about whether to joinNROTC, or Navy Reserve Officer Training Corps. It’s a big decision, it willaffect me, but you know what I needn’t be afraid. God was with me my whole lifeand will be with me wherever I go. If it works out it is God’s plan, if itdoesn’t then it just wasn’t for me. At times like these, when you’re staring atthe edge of a big river to cross, you gotta trust God to show you where theright bridge is. (sorry for the cliché).

There's Always a Reason Behind It

2011-07-17T10:51:00.000-04:00

As I continuethrough Tattoos on the Heart onethought pervades my mind; it is sad how very often the gang members that changetheir lives for the better end up dying anyways. Very often in the book a gang memberor as Greg Boyle says “homeboy” will change his life but die at the hands of arival. Then a second thought came to my mind; it’s not meaningless. If youbelieve in God, an all powerful and loving God, then nothing is withoutmeaning. Many people who don’t believe in God feel that this is all there is,that life’s only meaning is what you leave behind, thus in death and sufferingwe are left alone. With God this is not true, everything from joy to pain ispregnant with meaning. It doesn’t matter if I live to be 20 or 90, my life isone lived with purpose and meaning through God, and honestly I don’t care howlong I live because I know that I will have lived for something. Sure I want tohave a wife and kids, I want a family of my own, a job I love, but I know thatno matter what happens it will all have been done for God and that is goodenough for me. I have a long life (I hope) ahead of me, and instead of focusingon what I’m going to do, I want to focus more on the simple fact that whateverI do it won’t be for naught. Whether I am joyful or in great pain I know thatthere is meaning behind it, maybe, if there’s no explanation, that’s theconsolation behind suffering, that we aren’t alone; that when you suffer, notonly do those who love you suffer but God does too.

See God in All Things

2011-07-14T16:24:00.003-04:00

I was talkingwith my youth pastor today and aside from the usual “how are you, what are youup to…” we also talked a great deal about faith and what it means to me. To me,faith used to be a sort of addition to my life, while I was very strong in myfaith I never fully grasped that it really is a journey. What is the point of ajourney, to go somewhere of course. While in Oregon I got some time off tomyself to think about where I am going, and like many people I suppose, I wasn’ttoo thrilled. If there’s one thing I’ve learned (and I’ve learned many things)in the past month it’s that the whole point of our time here is to discoverGod, find a way to live for Him in a meaningful way, and eventually become morelike Him. One thing I’ve found is that I lack His ability to love others. AJesuit saying is that we must “see God in all things” honestly, I haven’t beendoing a good job at that. For whatever reason I’ve let pride, insecurity… seepinto my heart, keeping me far from God. If life is a journey in which we mustbecome more like God, then loving like Him is a good place to start. Jesus saidthere is no credit in loving those who love you back, boy, was He right, andboy, is it hard. From your best friend to your worst enemy we should loveeveryone. It’s hard, but there is a simple answer, God loves us. I have abetter chance of playing LF for the Boston Red Sox than deserving God’s love.If I can’t muster up the energy in my heart than may that one fact ring true. Iwas forgiven and loved, picked up from the dirt. Now it’s my turn to show thatlove to those around me. Seeing God in all things, plain and simple.

Housekeeping

2011-07-14T16:14:00.002-04:00

Note: I am currently debating whether or not to move my blog to another blogging site. Either way "taytaysrandomblob.blogspot.com" will not exist for much longer, it's just deciding if I want to stick with google.com or not. When any switch occurs I will post it ASAP. Other than that, enjoy the summer and god bless.

Cool Fireworks Pics from the 4th

2011-07-14T11:30:00.002-04:00

New Book

2011-07-11T12:06:00.003-04:00

So as for newbooks I’m reading a big one is TheSpiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius. I mentioned I am going to Holy Crossin the fall, well, Holy Cross is a Jesuit school and Saint Ignatius founded theJesuits. So he’s pretty important out in Worcester (the city where Holy Crossis for those who don’t know). Anyway, while in Oregon I was at Powell’s bookstore(best in the world) and felt compelled to look him up. And so here I am takingpart in the exercises of Saint Ignatius. It really is a very interesting book,Ignatius, like C.S. Lewis, was a layman, meaning he didn’t really have formaltraining (except later in life) and so it is simply a man’s journey with Christand what he feels outline his faith journey. For now I am in week one out offour weeks and have a few thoughts. First, why the word exercise? Well, to usean example I will be taking part in a triathlon this fall and need to workout,a lot. I’ve got the swimming down, it’s just the running and biking and so Ineed to, you guessed it, exercise. A favorite phrase of mine (not by myinvention though) is “if you’re not getting stronger, you’re getting weaker.”It’s the same with our spirituality, if you don’t put the effort in, don’t besurprised to see how far off the path you are, like everything in life it takeswork. Next, week one is based on a foundation that I am a wicked, fallen,person and don’t deserve God’s grace. Sounds harsh right? Think about itthough, if I, like the Pharisees, think I am a good person then how can Iaccept grace. On the other hand if I have the mindset that I am fallen I willreadily accept grace because I will see the need for it. God can only helpthose who see the need for help; otherwise His help is seen more as an intrusionthan a helping hand. For now those are my thoughts, as I continue through thebook I am bound to have more things to write about so until then enjoy the AllStar break and the Sox being in 1^st place.

Need for Forgiveness

2011-07-08T14:11:00.003-04:00

A few lastingthoughts on Hosea as I recently finished it. For one, a couple verses inchapter 11 really blew me away. A consistent theme in the prophets is God’s judgment;the idea is that because Israel sinned they should be punished. But Hosea isentirely different, especially 11: 8-10. Sorry for the chunk of scripture butit’s good. “How can I give you up, Ephraim? How can I hand you over, Israel?How can I treat you like Zeboiim? My heart has changed within me; all mycompassion is aroused. I will not carry out my fierce anger, nor will I turnand devastate Ephraim. For I am God, and not man – the Holy One among you. Iwill not come in wrath. They will follow the Lord.” That’s some pretty heavystuff and a great way to wrap up my posts on Hosea. The one thing that sticksout in my mind from that verse is the image of a father talking to hisson/daughter after they did something wrong. My dad has given me many “talks”over the years and they all follow the same pattern “You did something wrong,you should be punished, but don’t forget – I still love you.” Or better yet, afather talking to a son who ran away “You hurt me, but most of all you scaredme, I still love you.” Sin separates us from God; it is the devil’s perversionof the good that God has made. When we sin we take a step away from God to “goour own way.” More than anything this hurts God, who isn’t hurt by the painfulsting of rejection, especially from a close friend or lover? Forgiveness isn’tjust God’s way of saying “all clear” it’s much more than that, it tears downthe walls we built with our sin. By being forgiven we are allowed into the presenceof God once again which is an even sweeter gift than being let off the hook.Some more thoughts on forgiveness as it is applicable to our own lives: justlike forgiveness allows us to enjoy a relationship with God when we forgiveothers it allows us to enjoy a relationship with them. There are quite a fewpeople who I used to not forgive for what they did to me in the past, to tellyou the truth I was the one missing out not them. By not forgiving you shut theperson out of your life forever, through forgiveness you tear down the wallsbuilt between you to enjoy a cordial relationship.

Clear for the First Time

2011-07-08T12:41:00.003-04:00

So a fewquick thoughts, first Oregon was great, pictures to follow. Second mytech-savvy cousin told me that blogger is being reformatted under google.com sothis means my blog will change websites. It will still be good old “Tay Tay’sRandom Blog” just not through blogger.com. When this happens I will post thenew site, also I was told all content will be carried over so don’t worry allmy year’s of posting didn’t go to waste. Back to the post, I’ve been doing alot of thinking and the main idea I am driving at is this: change is not agiven, while forgiveness may be, change happens in your heart and must beenacted through you with God’s help. What the heck does this mean? Well latelyI’ve come to realize that while I may call myself a follower of Christ (and attimes I sure do act like it), that doesn’t mean my journey is over, no, insteadit means it has just begun. You ever get that annoying feeling that the moreyou try to be good the more you realize how far you are? Well I’ve come to thatpoint. As I sit here at my new macbook writing this post all I can think of isthis big laundry list of things I need to do to clean up my act. But here’s thething, it doesn’t work that way, not even close. The reason the image of Hoseaand his wife has struck me so much is this: God wants me, faults and all. WhenI wrote “Why Grace?” I was wrong in saying grace made no sense to me, it madeperfect sense, I just never fully realized it. Grace isn’t about cleaning up,it’s about being accepted for you who are; the thing is this, it doesn’t endthere. So where do I go next? I can’t possibly expect to be perfect fromhereon, then again aiming at sinfulness isn’t a good alternative either. I’vebeen reading plenty of books and have a few thoughts already, posts to follow Ipromise. For now I think the main focus is love, love of God and through Him loveof man. Who knew, two years ago faith was all I cared about, now six years intomy journey with Christ I’m finally understanding the true message of theGospel, God’s love for us. He didn’t have to create man, He wanted to, fullyknowing the grief and joy that would come with it. The list of books I’ll bereading consists of the following: Don’tWaste your Life, The Reason For God, Tattoos on the Heart, and of course,The Bible. It’s a journey for a reason, I’m sure glad I have God to get methrough it.

Road Trip

2011-06-29T12:06:00.000-04:00

From now to July 8 I will be in Oregon visiting family so until then I will not be posting on the blog. Enjoy the fourth, and god bless.

Why Grace?

2011-06-28T13:52:00.002-04:00

As I look back on the past few posts I’ve written I think there is one central idea I’ve been hinting at, and that is the concept of grace. To be honest I never really “got” grace, it just didn’t make sense to me. I come from a family of workers, I’ve always believed that you had to work for what you got, that handouts were never an option. So then I come along the idea of grace in my faith and I’m thinking “seriously God, you mean there’s nothing I have to do?” It just never really made much sense to me. Now, looking at the posts I’ve written I can see the concept of grace clearly, it’s not that there’s nothing we can do, it’s that God doesn’t want us to do anything. God doesn’t want us to “clean up our act” before coming to Him, He just wants us to make a choice. Once choice, that’s all it is, and that choice is to follow Him instead of going your own way. Looking at Hosea there’s no part where God says “Well, before you come back to me, boy do you have a long list of things to do.” No, it doesn’t work that way at all, instead God’s just asking us to come back, no clean up necessary just a promise of commitment. Really, grace isn’t a simple handout like I thought it was, as I come to dig in my Bible a bit more I’ve found that grace is God’s way of accepting us despite our faults and never giving up. Synonyms for grace are “poise, refinement, charm, and beauty.” Very often when we need God the most and come to Him we are not that way at all, but by His grace alone we can be perfect in His sight.

It's a Two Way Street

2011-06-27T15:06:00.002-04:00

As I continue reading through Hosea I keep coming across some very interesting passages. The thing I’ve always been amazed at by the Bible is that I can read the same passage multiple times and come away with different impressions, case in point right here. I wrote about the comparison made between God and a pained lover, but here are a few more verses to clarify that and also explain the reasoning behind God’s judgment. 5:15 says “Then I will go back to my place until they admit their guilt. And they will seek my face in their misery they will earnestly seek me.” 6:6 says “For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgement of God rather than burnt offerings.” And finally 7:13 “I long to redeem them but they speak lies against me. They do not cry out to me from their hearts.” So why the scripture, well, doesn’t it sound similar to something someone who has been cheated on would say? Or maybe a parent whose child left them never to come back? You always hear the “All I want is for them to come back…” well, God is the same way. A lot of the time it seems people think of God as some sort of evil puppet master rooting against them, well, clearly seen here God is rooting for us, not against us. God wants us to succeed, He doesn’t want us to leave Him or worse, end up in eternal separation from Him. A common question is “how can a loving God send people to hell?” Well, God doesn’t really send people to hell; I don’t really think He would want to. C.S. Lewis (yeah, him again) once wrote something along the lines of how our eternal outcomes aren’t decided at one point, but really a culmination of many decisions. The attitude of today could affect where I am in ten years ultimately deciding where I end up. If anything God wants us more than we could ever know, it’s just up to us to want Him back.

Charlie and Rosy

2011-06-26T20:07:00.000-04:00

Here are a few pictures of Charlie (younger male) and Rosy (older female). It's been a while since I posted pictures of them so here it goes. Also for some annoying reason all my writing is centered, not alligned to the left, sorry for that.

Not Asked for Much

2011-06-25T10:49:00.000-04:00

I recently finished Daniel and have started the book of Hosea. For some background info Hosea is one of the minor prophets at the end of the Old Testament and like many prophets, warning Israel of the coming invasion of Babylon and Jesus’ coming. The interesting, and very sad, thing about Hosea is he is used by God as an instrument to demonstrate how He feels. Hosea marries a prostitute that despite his love, continually breaks his heart by being unfaithful. God’s point is that we are that women, we are unfaithful to Him. Makes you think doesn’t it? This post isn’t so much about that, but more about chapter 2 verses 16 and 23. Despite being continually letdown time after time this is what God says to Hosea, “In that day…you will call me ‘my husband,’ you will no longer call me ‘my master.’” In verse 23 God says “I will show my love to the one I called ‘not my loved one.’ I will say to those called ‘Not my people’ ‘You are my people:’ and they will say, ‘You are my God.’” That is the depth of God’s love, it’s not that He turns a blind eye to what we’re doing, it’s that He refuses to give up on the hope that we will once again turn to Him. The truth is that God is more hurt than angry when we sin, it’s like having someone you love turn against you. Sin isn’t something off the long list of “no no’s” it’s when we take something given by God and put it either out of context, or above him. A few examples, revenge is a perverted form of justice, baseball (for me) can become a too-consuming passion, the list goes on and on. And more importantly God is hurt by this, but He doesn’t give up on us. It used to be that the Israelites were “the chosen people,” but in these verses God is saying “No, I made all people, I will not give up on ALL of my people.” All God really asks of us is our time, considering what He’s given to us I think it’s fair.

We've Got to Come Together

2011-06-23T20:11:00.001-04:00

I’m not sure if I already blogged about this or not but it’s something that has been on my mind lately so here we go. I mentioned I was preparing for college this fall, but I am not sure whether I mentioned I am going to Holy Cross. For those who don’t know Holy Cross is a Catholic school, and although I was raised Catholic (like every other Italian in the world) I now go to a Presbyterian church. When I talk to a lot of people in my church community about the Catholic Church I tend to get the same response about how “the Catholic religion is different than Christianity.” For those who have said this before I am not singling anyone out, I just have something to say. While the Catholic and Protestant Church certainly have their differences, fundamentally it is the same thing. Both churches profess a belief in an all powerful God whose son descended to earth to pay for our sins, and also the belief in the Holy Spirit as God’s spirit in us. I’m reading a fantastic book titled Tattoos on the Heart by a Jesuit priest named Gregory Boyle. Not even halfway through this book I’m thinking how cool it would be to be this man. He works on rehabilitating former gang members in a series of small businesses (bakeries, city cleanup, ect.) he calls “Homeboy Industries,” mixed with brief Spanish phrases, mildly course language, and anecdotes from life on the streets is a single truth, and that is the Gospel. That got me thinking, even though we go to different churches, are Greg and I all that different? Yeah he’s Catholic and I consider myself nondenominational but at the heart of the issue don’t we both worship the same God and go out with Gospel in hopes of spreading the good news? So here’s what I think, Paul (whether you call him saint or not) wrote that we are the body in Christ. Body means together, one organism, not two. Imagine if my legs looked at the rest of me and (if they could talk) said, “even though we’re supposed to be together, you’re altogether different than I am, so let’s split.” Yeah I know, crazy right, but that is exactly what the church has done in the past and still does! If we can’t come together in worship then how can the church expect to combat the evils of the world and all the devil does to ruin the paradise God made? Jesus once said that a house divided cannot stand, well this house better get some crazy glue fast because we need to come together.

Never Alone

2011-06-22T12:39:00.001-04:00

Lately I’ve been reading the Book of Daniel (you know, the one with the lion’s den) and something struck me as applicable to modern day society (yeah, I didn’t say ‘something stuck out to me’). First a little background info, Daniel was taken, along with many other Israelites, to Babylon after the invasion. Now he is in the service of the King of Babylon, Nebuchadnezzar, as an interpreter of dreams. As a Jew Daniel sticks out like a sore thumb in Babylon, needless to say, except for a few friends, he is alone. As a follower of Christ I can feel alone too; when others choose to live their lives a certain way I find myself on occasions on the outside looking in. The thing with Daniel though is this; he trusted in God and didn’t change himself for anyone. From the get go Daniel stuck to his guns, in chapter one Daniel refuses to eat the king’s food opting for vegetables instead. Next, when Daniel is called to interpret a dream for Nebuchadnezzar instead of reveling in his new job he says to the king “No wise man, enchanter, magician or diviner can explain to the king the mystery he has asked about, but there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries” 2:27. Instead of conforming to his environment, Daniel transforms it for the better. It can be tough to be on your own, when it feels like the whole world is going one way and you’re not it is never easy. But the thing is this, we’re never alone, we’ve got God on our side. As I go on to college it’s going to be tough to continue on my journey in faith, but I know that with God by my side I am not alone.

More than Meets the Eye

2011-06-18T17:05:00.000-04:00

In case you haven’t noticed the Sox have been playing very well lately, one player in particular fueling that success. The player is Adrian Gonzalez, the sweet swinging, errorless, first baseman. Currently Gonzalez is hitting .352 with 15 HR and 62 RBI’s. Gonzalez’s career average is .290 so I guess saying Fenway is a good park to hit in is a bit of an understatement, the highest he has hit before this year was .304 in 2006 for the Texas Rangers. While Gonzalez has shown he is very impressive with a bat in his hands, this post is not just about his hitting. As far as hitting goes Gonzalez is living proof (like Ted Williams) that an intimate knowledge of hitting coupled with a love for the game produces great results. While Gonzo may be no Teddy Ballgame, Dan Shaughnessy was wrong to say the two aren’t similar. Even more impressive than his hitting ability is Gonzo’s faith, something I was pleasantly surprised the hear about. Gonzalez took part in an interview and professed a faith that was strong, heartfelt, and more important than baseball. I used to think that to live in the service of God I had to be a monk or something similar. I had to be a missionary or sit at home reading my Bible all day. While those may be the right choices for someone else, Gonzalez has shown that to him, baseball is a way for him to worship God and share the Gospel. Gonzalez talked about how while hitting is good for him; it’s what’s done for Christ that really matters. As I read further into Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper, and more of my Bible, I’ve begun to see that a life fulfilled is one where what we do revolves around God, not me.

Faith and Reason

2011-06-15T07:49:00.000-04:00

So yesterday I mentioned two books, for now I will write about one, The Reason for God by Tim Keller. I was given this book by my youth pastor because I am a graduating senior and going on to college. To be honest I was a bit disappointed. I thought “Oh great, another book full of ‘reasons’ but no faith.” Lately I’ve been pretty heavy on faith, almost to the point of rejecting reason. I “reasoned” to myself that faith is supreme, to bring up an old example of my fear of spiders, no amount of fact can change what I firmly believe: that is I will be bitten. Here’s the thing I’ve realized, and once again C.S. Lewis comes to the rescue. For my senior quote I chose a nugget of wisdom from C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity “Faith…is the art of holding on to something your reason once accepted despite your changing moods.” While faith is necessary for a belief in God and Christianity, reason too is needed. While you can never absolutely prove the existence of God (you can’t prove He doesn’t exist either), you still need reason. Without reason you engage in blind belief, you go along with something half-heartedly without even thinking about it. Not only is this not the way to go, it is a dangerous way to live life. Faith is not a substitute for reason; it is as the book of Hebrews puts it “being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” So then, reason is what we use when we initially believe in something and faith keeps us believing. I suppose that reason and faith both make up belief, without reason you engage yourself in blindness and without faith you have no hope of believing for a long time; I guess for an image, reason is a spark to a fire but faith is the addition of wood to keep it going.

It Takes Work

2011-06-13T12:59:00.002-04:00

In my last post I briefly mentioned two books I was reading, I’ll get to those books in detail soon, but for now I will go into detail about what I’m doing. I remember sophomore year in high school chemistry learning about entropy. Entropy (for those who care, and those who don’t I’m writing this anyway) is the principle that without work/effort things go from a state or order to disorder. A good example is the cleanliness of my room. Another example is our relationships, especially with God. I used to think Christianity was a “one and done thing” I say I believe and that was it. Well I was wrong, it requires work and lots of it. Our relationship with God is described as a marriage in the Bible, could you imagine a marriage where the groom says “I do, okay so that’s it right?” Like any relationship, ours with God requires time, effort, and communication. That means devotion, prayer, and digging into that Bible on the nightstand. I admit that I’ve fallen off a bit lately. For whatever reason I haven’t been praying as much and reading my Bible and suddenly I looked around and said “Wait where am I?” I wrote about stewardship of time and how I have a limited amount of time left, well I know I am still very young but that means I have lots of time to cover even more ground. I was talking with my father the other day that the last thing I want to is to graduate from Holy Cross, get a job I don’t like, raise a successful family, and look back at it all saying “What was it all worth? Who was it all for?” Without effort our relationships break down, it takes work, hard work sometimes, to keep it going. While I am not a fan of resolutions I now resolve to put the work in that God deserves, the last thing I want is a life lived for nothing.

Searching for Answers

2011-06-13T12:45:00.002-04:00

In my last post I wrote about stewardship of money, well here’s a post about how we are stewards of our time in a bit more detail. Lately I’ve come to realize, rather painfully at first, that I have a limited amount of time here. Yeah, it’s a somewhat morbid thought, but as my high school graduation begins to fade from memory I realize I will grow old. So, what do I do? Well I could panic, do nothing, or use my time wisely. One and two are out, but what in the world does using my time wisely mean? Does it mean I stop sleeping, or watching the Red Sox, or playing baseball, or does it mean something else? Well at the moment I am not completely sure, our lives and faith are called a journey for a reason. Lately I’ve been reading two books, one given to me recently another a long time ago. I was recently given The Reason for God and a while ago was given Don’t Waste your Life. I’ve got another post on this to come soon, but for now all I’ll say is I’m making some changes in my relationship with God and my life. For now the only answer that comes to mind is Paul’s letter to the church in Philippi, there are many verses that stick out, here are key parts of them. 3:7 “But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.” 3:10 “I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings.” Finally 4:14 “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” I do not have the exact answer, what I do know however, is that a life not lived for the glory of God is a wasted life and that is something I shall try hard to avoid.

Show Me The $$$

2011-06-05T20:17:00.003-04:00

So lately in my church we’ve been talking about stewardship. Now, I’ll be honest, I’ve never liked the stewardship sermons. This time of year I find myself thinking “Oh no, today they’ll be talking about money.” Don’t get me wrong, I tithe my income and am generous with donations to charities; but today I found the sermon rather interesting. Today we talked about Matthew 6:19-24, but verse 21 stood out to me, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Here’s my take on the whole stewardship sermon. I wrote a post a while back in the beginning of the financial crisis about money titled “Ocean Views Aren't That Great”. My feeling is this; we are not just stewards of our money, we are stewards of our time, energy, talents, and lives. So instead of making stewardship all about donating money, we should instead focus it on a lifestyle of giving. Giving time to God and others, giving energy to God and others, giving of our talents to God and others; that’s what real stewardship is about. If I put God first in my life always, then the natural course of action would be to be generous with all that I have. Hypothetically I could be a great steward with money; I could give 12% to the church and extra to charity. However, if I do not give of my time, life, talents, energy… to God and those around me is it really worth it? I guess my point is this, stewardship isn’t such a bad thing, actually it is extremely important. Yet, I feel it has a focus on money which it is not, it relates to everything. Here on earth we don’t really own anything, we are stewards of it, entrusted by God, so it is only right that we give back to Him. Stewardship isn’t just about money, it’s about how we live our lives and we should focus on giving in all areas, not just financial ones.

Sure, God Plays Dice

2011-05-31T15:17:00.000-04:00

Here are some more thoughts on the whole “love, faith, and hope” triangle from 1 Corinthians 13. Something hit me the other day that was probably pretty obvious to some, but new to me. That or I just never thought of it before. Anyways, I digress. As I was walking my dog I thought that there is something love, hope, and faith all have in common. They all involve risk. To have faith risks being wrong, to have hope risks being let down, and to love risks both loss and being unloved. Now, why, out of these is love the greatest? Well, because love is hard. It is hard to love when you know that you’re taking a big risk. C.S. Lewis wrote something along the lines of this, that when you put yourself out there, even for an animal, you risk being hurt. There are times when I have lost those I loved; I remember getting to know and love my great uncle and making a strong effort to really know him, but unfortunately he died after having a stroke. So why then do I put myself out there, why risk being hurt? Well, what happens if you don’t? Could you imagine a life where you never took a chance to show love or kindness to anyone out of fear they would leave you? You have to take a chance! Imagine the chance God takes on us. He gives us free will to do whatever we want and looking at my life I know I hurt Him more than I should. The thing about love is that it is a choice, and that, I think, is why Paul thinks it is so important. No matter what you believe you always have faith, and hope is fundamental, there is no one who is truly hopeless. Yet love is a choice that has to be made. You can either go out into the world and take a risk by showing love to those around you or retreat inside your shell. God took a huge risk in loving us, and to gratify the risk He took by loving Him, we must learn to love each other.

The Rapture!?!?

2011-05-25T10:33:00.002-04:00

Today’s date is May 25, 2011. I think it is safe to say that the predictions of the rapture on May 21 were wrong. Here’s the thing, why are there so many predictions about the world ending/ the coming of the rapture? Looking in the Bible you would see that predicting the end of the world is the LAST thing you should be doing, mainly because it is a waste of time. First off Jesus says in Matthew 24:23 “At that time if anyone says to you ‘Look, here is the Christ!’ or ‘There he is!’ do not believe it.” Later on in verse 36 Jesus says “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” Looking at this what are we to do? It seems every year someone comes along saying the world is going to end, and of course they’ve always been wrong. It seems to me that far too often we focus more on predicting that the world is going to end, instead of preparing for when it does. Let’s say I was banking on the world ending in 2013 (just when the Sox were locked up for the next few years), well if I thought the world would end in two years I wouldn’t really care much about how I lived now, I’d worry about it later. But for all I know I could pass away next week. What’s my point; it’s that when you count on a deadline to “tie up your loose ends” you end up hurting yourself. Instead of focusing on when the world may or may not end, I focus on living every day as if it were my last. I make the most of every opportunity and conversation given to me. I make friends, seek forgiveness, and take risks; all while living a godly life. Instead of focusing on when the end may come I prepare for it so if it comes in my lifetime I will be ready to say “well you gave me this life and I made the most of it.” Jesus told a parable in Matthew 25 where a man went on a trip and gave his servants money to spend, he came back unexpectedly and two of the servants put it to good use, but one didn’t. If even Jesus doesn’t know when the world will end then I want to put my life to good use.

Red Sox Report

2011-05-21T17:42:00.000-04:00

After a 15-5 win and 24-20 record the Sox are suddenly looking like the team we thought they were in early March. The pitching has come around, the offense has been great, and the defense has been awesome. What can you say the Sox are dominating and Boston fans are loving it. The offense to be feared has really taken hold and I especially love the combination of Ellsbury and Gonzalez. Out of all the players acquired Adrian Gonzalez has to be the best, and the biggest impact on the team. Seriously, with Ellsbury leading off the game with a single, stealing second, with Gonzo at the plate that’s run number one right there. Can I hear the chants for MVP yet, or perhaps Triple Crown. While it might be early Gonzalez is definitely something special. Seeing him make the adjustments against CC Sabathia in the Yankee series to come back in his 3^rd at bat and hit a homerun to right; yet also have tremendous power to left – it’s a beautiful thing. I stand by my early predictions, Gonzo will have a .320 average or higher, maybe as high as .340 if he gets on a hot streak, 35+ homeruns, and 120+ RBI’s (Ellsbury helps him a lot with this). Gonzo is something special and so are the Red Sox, watch them to be a force in the AL East come September. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention Josh Beckett who is looking BETTER than his 2007 form? What else can you say, he’s been infallible and that will be key down the stretch. Well that’s the Red Sox report, they go to their throwback jerseys tonight looking for win #25 and the lead in the AL East, it certainly is a good time to be a Boston fan.

More Thoughts on Love

2011-05-21T17:16:00.002-04:00

Well I’ve been doing more thinking about love and 1 Corinthians 13 (love is the most important right?). One thing that really gets me is when Pail writes in the beginning of the chapter, verses 1-3 “If I speak in the tongues of men and angels but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.” Sorry for the big chunk, but it’s key. Now I don’t know about you, but this really hits me hard. Now I don’t have the gifts of tongues or prophecy and I like to think I have strong faith and have a gift of giving. One thing I do know (at least I’m told) is that I’m good at writing, especially about the Bible. But here’s the thing, if I do not live my life with love and write with love, then you might as well ignore all my posts. If I don’t have love then my writing is no better than gibberish! That’s a shocking and though provoking statement. I never really thought much about love until recently. Love can most clearly be seen in your actions and attitude. How do you react to disappointment, hurt, anger, or difficulty? Do you snap at the next person next to you, or do you act with grace and kindness. While it’s easy to say you love someone it’s hard to show it. So where do I get love (and make my posts worth reading)? Well the only source of perfect love is God, He is love after all. Through God we can love others the way we should, which is the way He does. To not love is to reject God and ignore His word in the Bible. The Bible isn’t just a history book, it is a love letter. God’s love towards His creation is written down for all to read, you just have to read it. More thoughts on love are bound to come; these are just some things on my mind. If I do not have love, it doesn’t matter how much faith, hope, or good deeds I have, I am nothing.

Why I Believe

2011-05-20T12:00:00.000-04:00

Well for those who thought I was done writing about faith, here’s one more post to add to the numerous already written. I was talking with a few people the other day on the subject of whether or not we believe in Heaven. I chose to listen more than talk, but one interesting phrase came out. One of the people described Heaven as “insurance.” That is, you’re not sure if it exists but you hope it does so you say it does so you’re covered. That made me thinks a lot, why do I believe? Here’s why I didn’t talk in that conversation, for one I needed time to organize my thoughts, and second when I did I found out that (and you’ll hate me for this) I don’t know. Yes, I do not know why I believe, I just do. Following my series of blog posts on faith I find that it was a long journey, partly intellectual, but really it just came up on me. For some reason, whether you buy it or not, I just started believing again. It’s not like I stopped believing completely, I just lost faith. I found myself struggling to comprehend God and the miraculous; realizing that I didn’t know for sure threw me into a panic. Then I had the realization that that’s what faith is: believing in the absence of certainty, and before you claim this is a “cop out” remember that whether or not you believe in God you have faith in your beliefs. Simply put I believe because God has revealed himself to me throughout my life, a process difficult to explain mainly because it is entirely personal. I love to read and love sports, I found God through baseball and various books that “happened” to fall into my lap; any more than that I cannot say. So if I am ever asked why I believe in Heaven this is what I shall say, “I don’t know, I just do and in time perhaps you may too.”

Summer of Tay Tay

2011-05-16T21:38:00.004-04:00

So for Seinfeld fans out there who remember the “Summer of George” here’s my proposal for a “Summer of Tay Tay.” As I face the onward approach of adulthood and the real world here’s a lighthearted list of things I would like to do this summer before I begin my studies at Holy Cross.

1) Play the piano more, I’ve got a few ragtime songs and a book of original Charlie Brown songs, here we go.

2) Here’s a no brainer, blog more.

3) Cook more; I’ve got too many cookbooks and too few favorite recipes.

4) Swim ¾ of a mile, maybe 1 mile if I’m up to it.

5) Grow closer to God in a real way, and let it show in my writing and actions.

6) Read my Bible more, I’ve fallen off the wagon a bit lately.

7) See Pirates 4.

8) Read a book start to finish (Jerry says “I’ve always wanted to do that!”)

9) Give back to my community

10) Never forget to take in the simple joys of everyday life.

Well there it is, one week until my summer begins, hopefully I can get this list and more done, and seriously I’ll try to blog a lot more.