Certainty vs. Stability

This is one of those really funny stories that I just have to write about. Not funny in the sense of humorous but funny in that you step back and say “wow what a coincidence”. My last post was about faith and the difference between certainty and belief, I can be certain in something but faith requires belief in the absence of that certainty. So, I was reading from St. Augustine’s Confessions, and came across the part where Augustine describes the beginnings of his conversion. Essentially the first half describes Augustine’s youth and then his introduction to Christianity but his misgivings about it, but in book VIII he writes “My desire was not to be more certain of [God] but to be more stable in [God]” After reading that it just clicked, I took a step back and said to myself “wow, he actually said that and this is the idea I’ve been thinking about for the past few months.” In addition it is also a bit of an elaboration on C.S. Lewis’ idea about controlling out emotions. The real keys to faith are not in taking the in initial leap and believing at first, it’s continuing to believe, and that is what Augustine prays for. God could give us all certainty but once a storm comes in our lives those facts will mean nothing if there is no stability in God. For a while I’ve been writing about this “faith journey” but the thing I’ve realized lately is that there is no set amount to faith, no increments to count it by there is now way to for me to look back and say “well I may not be where I want to but I have twice the faith I had a year ago.” Faith is simply holding on to what we believe and never letting go; it’s belief despite our unbelief, and taking the second step after the first.