Straight and Narrow

I wrote about envy last week and while this isn’t exactly about envy it is sort of a follow up post. Sometimes I find myself frustrated, I am frustrated that I seem to work so hard to keep my life in order and wrongly feel that God should bless me more than He does. I’ve realized that it’s not that I want God to bless me more, but I am envious of those around me, especially those I feel that aren’t working as hard as I do. It’s a bad way to feel but sometimes, usually on a bad day, that’s what I say. But I’ve realized that I’ve missed the whole point, that I’m not seeing things correctly. In Matthew 7:13-14, Jesus says “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” So basically Jesus is saying “Hey, this life is hard, if you want the easy way out fine for you, but if you want a life worth living and follow me it’s hard.” If I sit around expecting God to come down and say “Hey great job you get a prize” not only is that foolish, it’s proud. That is why envy can be so potent, it hurts out pride, it makes us resent all that we’ve done, it makes us turn our backs on God. The reward in this life is not a house on the beach, a big family, fortune, and fame. The reward in this life is simply knowing God, and that should be enough – right? It should, and it is, but when I let pride in my life, when I start thinking “Hey, I’m a pretty good guy, I should get some sort of recognition” then I become unsatisfied. The question I need to answer is this, why am I doing this? Am I walking the straight and narrow for people to say nice things about me, or am I doing it so that I can grow closer to God. Sure, in fighting the good fight I may find myself left out or alienated by those who don’t understand, but in the end it’ll be worth it, not because I get a gold star to put under my name but because in Heaven I’ll be among friends.