Christmas Eve Post

As I sat in church this Christmas Eve I couldn’t but help think how the time has flown. It seemed like just yesterday I was five years younger and three inches shorter sitting in the same pew, yet here I am now. A lot has happened in the past few days, but if there is one thing I’ve learned in the best six years of my life (my life as a Christian) it is that God is in control. This is the God that sent His son to our earth. The God of all peoples, whether you are a carpenter, astrologers, or poor shepherds, God is here for all of us. I might not know where I am headed but I do know that God is leading me every step of the way and I thank Him for that. I’ve lost a lot, but I’ve never lost faith or hope in God, in both of those I find my strength to get through the trials of life. As I reflect this Christmas I realize that while times may be tough, I’ve never had it so good and that is because it is times like these that I find strength in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Now all the sentiments aside I have some food and cookies to munch on, so I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and safe travels.

Forgiven

You know those moments when God speaks to your heart loud and clear? Well I just had one of those. I went with my dad to his weekly Bible study that works with kids in prison. These kids have done some serious stuff, but a few of them show up for our weekly worship. I’ve been feeling pretty down lately (if you couldn’t tell by my earlier posts) so I didn’t really want to go tonight, but I went anyways. Boy am I glad I did. We watched The Nativity Story (great movie if you’ve never seen it) and something really struck me. One scene that really jumped out to me was when the shepherd reached out to touch Jesus, but pulled his hand back because he felt he was unworthy. Mary held Jesus out and said that He came for everyone, and then the shepherd reached his hand back towards Jesus while holding back tears. I didn’t show it but I was nearly in tears as well at that point. For the past six months I’ve been blaming myself for something I never did, for something out of my control. Through that I forgot what God’s grace felt like, I forgot that I was forgiven. I can imagine the devil in hell scheming “If sin won’t get Tay Tay let’s crush him emotionally!” You know what, I gave in to that tactic. I shot myself in the foot by telling myself that I am not worthy of God’s love. Yet I forget that this message of love oozes out of every page of the Bible. I forgot that the Bible is literally God’s love letter to man. I forgot that even if I were the last person on earth Jesus still would have died on the cross. It’s not about what I did or did not do, all that really matters is that no matter what we are forgiven by God. John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” I’m forgiven no matter what, the life I live is one of freedom not slavery to guilt. I thank God for His abounding love and grace that He showed me patience and brought me to the detention center tonight, for I found Jesus.

Update

I added a new feature to the blog. Instead of just one page, there are now two (I may add more as I see fit). For those who don't know the story of how my blog came to be simply click the "story" page on the right.

Change

I wrote a post a while back, it must have been in July or August, about my summer reading book Tattoos on the Heart. I wrote about change, and how it all starts with you deciding enough is enough. Well I guess God wasn’t satisfied with me simply writing about it, so He let me learn the lesson myself. I’ve been in a bad way for the past couple months. I suffered a bad a year ago (look at my posts in August 2010) and blamed myself for it. Don’t ask me why, but I felt responsible. The thing is, when I look at my posts I see them brimming with hope, although I suffered I still had hope and trust founded in God. It was only in the past six months that I started to blame myself for what happened. The devil will use anything he can against us, but is favorite tool is ourselves. I was working against myself here, and I ended up allowing myself to take a time out while life began to pass me by. But change starts within us, it doesn’t begin outside and work its magic. Instead we have to initiate it. Now this can be hard, but God is there and He is willing to give us the strength. I was never at fault for what happened, but for some reason I allowed myself to be. Now if I want my life to improve, and move on then I need to initiate it because nothing is going to change if I don’t put the work in. If there’s one regret I have its allowing the devil to fool me into believing something that isn’t worth the time of day, but the good news is that I have plenty of my life to live from here on in freedom founded in my savior Jesus Christ.

This Christmas

Well it’s almost Christmas and I have yet to write a Christmas post. Instead of the whole flowery post about joy and peace, I’m going to write about something very personal (in an impersonal way). Lately a lot of very bad things have been happening to me, I won’t say what, but I will say that they have caused me to lose sight of the goodness in my life and the grace of God. I’ve lost a lot of faith over the past couple years and I’ve let the devil get the best of me. I can imagine him with his demons saying, “Well if we can’t cause Tay Tay to sin his way out of God’s grace maybe we can rock his world a bit and cause him to lose faith.” Sadly it seems he has won in part; I’ve lost faith in God and in myself. When Jesus was born things were pretty hectic. His mother was accused of adultery, his father nearly left him before his birth, and King Herod wanted him killed. All of that was thrust upon a helpless baby (albeit he was God, but still God’s power was confined in the abilities of a baby), the future of our world hanging on a few decisions. But he made it out ok, better than ok as that baby grew up to be a man who died to save us from our sins. Life can be a lot like that first Christmas: hectic, dark, or terrifying. Yet we can’t let that run our life, we can’t let the devil win. This Christmas remember this: while your life may be incredibly difficult, God can do miracles through the bleakest situations and turn things around. The way things were going it didn’t look good for God’s master plan to save the human race, but by His grace things turned around and evil was defeated.

Did He Just Say That?

I was engaged in a discussion about religion with some friends a few days ago and an interesting (and somewhat paradoxical statement) was made. One of my friends claims to be very religious (which I don’t doubt, he lives out his faith well) but at the same time said you can’t trust the Bible, only what the Catholic Church teaches. This came about because I said a teaching of the Catholic Church was not found in the Bible, and he said you can’t always trust what the Bible says as truth. I can rehash my statement about the validity of the Bible, but I already posted on that. I stand by my opinion; we have to assume that the Bible is fully valid as it is God’s word. You can call me a “Bible thumper” or “fundamentalist” or even crazy (I deny the first one though, I don’t think someone who is crazy can have a Holy Cross education). Instead I’ll pose a question: where did the teachings of the church come from? Well I assume that they are founded in the Bible. So you might as well say I love Italian food, but I hate pasta, pizza, chicken, fish, and so on. It’s a backwards statement to make. This is the problem with our modern world today, many hide behind scientific understanding as a reason to disprove the Bible. Yet my friends also acknowledge the divinity of Jesus. Now, my question is this, how can God be able to produce one miracle in the New Testament, yet be handcuffed throughout the Old Testament. Isn’t that what faith is about, believing in the seemingly impossible? How can I be expected to worship a God that can’t do anything? If God is as all-powerful as my friends claim, shouldn’t He be able to produce miracles at ease? That said I firmly stand by my belief that the Bible is supreme, it writes of an all-powerful God and backs it up with evidence of His ability. You can’t claim to believe in the miraculous if you deny the existence of miracles. Is this post harsh?

Never Give Up

Well finals are finally over (pun not intended, if that counts as a pun), and now I find myself with plenty of time to write. While I am tempted to take every day of the next five weeks off, I think it best to expend some of my already depleted mental energy into blogging. This post is not applicable anymore (as I no longer face great adversity) but any time you need a word of encouragement it is good. The single verse that got me through the past two weeks (heck even the past four months) is 2 Corinthians 4: 8-9, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” Here Paul is talking about how although his life seemingly falls apart, with God he can still stand strong. The past four months have been grueling at times; the past two weeks have been downright exhausting. There have been moments when I just want to give up and go to bed, hoping all the while that I would wake up in the safety of my own home. But life doesn’t work that way, we don’t get timeouts or breaks, instead we just have to keep on going. And that sounds really harsh doesn’t it? Here’s the thing though, we are not alone in our struggles. God is there with us every step of the way feeding us His strength and love so that we may keep going. Sure life can seem impossible; there can be mountains that we just cannot climb. But God is never failing and will always be there to pick us up when we desperately need it. Next time you find yourself ready to give up remember this: you always have that strength to take the next step forward and God is always going to be there to give it to you.

Notice

A ton has been on my mind lately, but I have absolutely no time to write (it being finals week and all) but will post soon (as in later this week). Till then enjoy the Christmas season and God bless.

It's Not About Me

Late night post, I know but I was praying and couldn’t get this out of my head and didn’t want to forget. So often I worry about the future; what job will I have? Will I get married? What kind of man will I be? Where will God lead me next? Then a thought popped into my head. Nearly every decision I have made on my own has been a disaster, without God I have not accomplished very much in my life. It was God who made me a Christian, God who got me into baseball, God who had my family move to my new town, God who started my blog, God who allowed the worst pain but the greatest blessing in my life last summer, God who brought me to Holy Cross, God who pushed me to meet the friends I have, and God who made me the man I am today. Nowhere does it say “Tay Tay did this all on his own.” No, instead it was God who pushed me in the right direction. It doesn’t matter what decisions I make, because God will always lead me where He wants me to go. It’s not about me, it’s what God wants of me. I may whine and cry and say “Oh boo hoo I can’t hear God’s voice anymore.” But really, in all of those instances I heard God loud and clear. When I started my blog I had an itching in my fingers, little did I know that it would become my ministry to serve God. When I visited Holy Cross I had a feeling that it would be a nice school to go to, I had no idea what I was in for, and all the great people I have met. Sure there will be challenges and failures along the way, but that’s life isn’t it? God will lead me, if my life is not testimony enough to that statement then I better get my vision checked because it is plain to see that God has led me every step of the way and won’t stop until the day I die.

Where is the Love?

I have to admit, I am not the most loving person. Sure I can be very nice to people, but I often find myself judging others or being quick to take offense to wrongs against me. God taught me a lot about love last year when I nearly lost the thing that mattered most to me, and lately He’s been teaching me a great deal. 1 Corinthians 13 says love is the greatest, it even goes as far to say that out of faith, hope, and love, love matters the most. I’ve been reading the Gospels, and the one thing that stands out to me is how loving Jesus is. They say that God is love, and that the Bible is His love letter to mam, I’ll buy that. In everything Jesus does it is out of His love for those around Him. Sure He rebukes people, but never once does He judge, push away, ignore, or hold a grudge against anyone. That is what unconditional love looks like, and that is what this world desperately needs. In a time where war, starvation, divorce, and crime rates are all up we find ourselves missing out on one huge thing: God’s love. I never really gave much thought to the effect that my actions had on those around me. Sure I thought about the “Golden Rule” and did my best to be nice, but I never realized that the things I say or do can have a very real effect. As a Christian I am a representative of God, it is my greatest hope (and fear that I may fail) that when people see me they see the love and tenderness of God. Through me God can do His good work, and love others. When I act out in anger, selfishness, jealousy, or cruelty what effect does that have on those around me? How do I show the love of God? How can I possibly bring the Gospel to world with a God shaped hole in its heart? The answer: I can’t. If you think being a Christian is all about following a set of rules, well good luck all you’ll end up with is a tired soul and a bitter heart. It is so much more than that; it is about loving others, loving others unconditionally. That means not taking offense easily, forgiving those that hurt us, and turning the other cheek. It is not easy, but the reward is sweet. Lately God has taught me a lot about loving others unconditionally, and with that going forward I now have a better understanding of what God is like, and how He expects me to represent Him in His world.