Who Is Your Number 1?

I was thinking about my post the other day and I think I’ve had a change of heart on the subject. I was asked how my faith life is going and I responded with a similar answer to that found in my post, and I found that it lacked conviction. I couldn’t quite believe it; I was not content with simply throwing the credit upon God and not looking at myself. James writes, “grow close to God, and He will grow close to you.” I am feeling far from God; perhaps it may be because He is stepping back to let me grow, or maybe there is another reason hidden inside my heart. This past Monday I led FCA in a Bible study on Hebrews 4; we focused on the image of Jesus as our High Priest. Back then the title of High Priest was a big deal; he was the number one, the closest human to God. Jesus is the supreme High Priest, the Priest to end all Priests if you will. I asked a question to the members of the Bible study: Is Jesus your High Priest? Is Jesus your number one? I’ve been mulling over that question, and the answer, all week. The answer of late—no. When I was young and in the “honeymoon phase” of my faith I always thought and reflected on God. Sure there were times when I was more focused on my studies or friendships—but God was always a priority. Now, well life has gotten in the way. I think about a possible career, grades, my health, my friends, the list goes on and on. Lately God has taken a back stage on my mind; it would be folly to put that on Him, this time it is on me. So what do I do? I’ve been reading my Bible, praying, and going to church, what am I doing wrong? I need to live and breathe my faith. I need to look at every moment as a way to share God’s love with others. I need to look for ways to steer others towards God. Life isn’t about me, it’s about God’s purpose for me. Jesus gave us His life so that we no longer have to follow a set of rules to achieve perfection. The price? He only asks for our loving obedience, and consequently our lives. The price is steep but the reward is far greater than we could ever imagine. Sitting here right now, I can say that I miss having God’s strong presence in my life; there is still a glimmer of His light in me but it is up to me to grow closer to Him and hear His voice in my heart.