Why I Believe

Four years ago when I first became a Christian I had no doubt in my mind about what I believed, there were no questions from me, just answers. Then came the next school year where I was attacked for my beliefs, I was expected to act like a witness in a courtroom and logically defend my views. This went on until I moved to my new school where my beliefs went untested. This year and some of last I somehow went from unquestionable faith to unsure. I started praying and reading my Bible and the question “how am I sure…?” crept into my mind. I tried to suppress it and hide it the best I could. I read my Bible more, prayed more, and tried to talk more piously, nothing worked. Yesterday I was at a club in my school the “philosophy club” and we talked about what we can know for sure. Well that was a perfect storm for me; I was thinking and struggling to find the reason and logic behind why I believed. I emailed my English teacher, he ran the club, that night because I had to leave early and I wanted to express my thoughts. I said that C.S. Lewis’ proof for God shows we can know things for certain because God wouldn’t let us live in a world where we lived a lie. My English teacher sent a long response and slight rebuke that was unexpected. Imagine talking to a public school teacher, telling him the logic behind why God exists, and then getting rebuked for it, and being told in paraphrase “You can’t make the mistake for confusing faith and certainty” and “You don’t need a logical argument to believe in God” and “You don’t need certainty to have faith, that’s what faith is, you need to take a ‘leap of faith.’” I read that email and my jaw dropped and then I realized what I’ve done. I’ve based my belief in God on how well I can explain Him, but God is big He can’t be boxed up into a definition, we need faith, a belief in what we cannot see or explain. This was tough for me to write, it was tough for me to write my blog posts with doubts in my mind, but when there are doubts in our hearts that is when we need to have some faith. How do I know, when I am at a game that I am getting a ride home? How do I know that my teachers aren’t lying to me? How do I know that the bus will be at the stop? I don’t there is no logical explanation for my knowing, but I have faith in those things. Doubts are not bad, suppressing them is worse than having them, but we must remember that we can’t let them control our lives.

More Hitting Tips

Whether you’re playing in gym, for recreation, or competition, getting up at bat can be kind of intimidating, I fell apart in the summer because I was intimidated and afraid of looking dumb (and I did for a month), but if you’re in a slump or just afraid of not doing well here are my tips. One, chillax do whatever you need to, my suggestions are listen to music, laugh, pray, anything that helps you. Second, be a smart hitter. Before your at bat watch the pitcher, look at his release point, where he throws the ball, how fast his windup is, get an estimate of the pitch speed, and take a note of what pitches he throws. For example last night I was looking at the pitcher and here’s what I got: long windup, throws fastballs low, medium speed, slight windmill/over the top motion. Third when down in the count foul off as many pitches as you can (that’s pretty self explanatory). And fourth take what you get, if you walk be happy, if you ground out say “Well I hit the ball” and make an adjustment, hitting a baseball is hard, I find it extremely difficult at times but the most important thing is to take what you get, look at the good points of each at bat and make the adjustments you need to for your next at bat. Well I hope this helps, but remember no matter how well you do, whether it’s baseball or any other hobby/sport it’s just a game and our real concern isn’t on how we do on the field but how we live our lives for God.

Red Sox Report

After watching “The Baseball Show” yesterday I got into a debate with my dad over what to do with Brad Penny, and I think after today’s performance the question may be answered. Penny fired 5.1 innings giving up 3 runs, striking out 7 and walking no one. In a rough 6th inning Penny was done for the night and the end result was a 6-5 win. While going only 5.1 innings isn’t great, Penny’s pitching in that time frame was better than before. Usually I expect 6 innings, maybe four walks and anywhere from 2-6 strikeouts but 7 K’s and no walks shows that his velocity and location are improving greatly. If Penny can pitch like today and go deep into games I think he could be a valuable asset in the pitching rotation.

confirmation Personal statement pg.1

If I went back four years and tried to say what my favorite verse was I would have pulled a Ralph Kramden, humana, humana, humana. That is because four years ago before the summer of 2005 I had never read a word of the Bible. Of course I knew all the stories, God made the world in 7 days, and He had a son Jesus who died for us; that was the extent to my Biblical knowledge. Then I came here which lead to my trip to Camp Berea and on July 15, 2005 I received my first Bible the one I have here now. I remember the moment exactly, the shiny black cover and the crisp white pages, all new and slightly foreign to me. I then proceeded to read through it, read isn’t the right term here I devoured it. It was like giving bread to a starving man it was all so new and interesting it was like I had seen the world for the first time and I wanted to take it all in. In my zeal I ploughed through many verses one of them is Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” This verse has been particularly meaningful to me because I believe that God has used it to tell me something about my life. One thing I’ve learned in the 15 years of my life is that we all feel pain and disappointment. I’ve felt it many times in my life and have also seen it in the lives of my friends and family. When God made the world He made it perfectly, it was literally Heaven on earth, but when sin entered the world it blackened it, like ink blotches on a piece of paper the world became dirty imperfect. It is through that, that pain entered the world. Job felt it; he spent about 30 chapters telling his friends about it. Daniel felt it when he was dragged away with the exiles to Babylon. Even Jesus felt it in the garden of olives when His sweat was like blood, He knew what was about to happen and it brought Him pain. But there is a common theme in all of these cases to use an old Sunday school answer: God. When Job lost all he had and heard his wife’s nagging who was there? God! Who kept Daniel safe in the lion’s den and made him favorable to Nebuchadnezzar? God. Who gave strength to His beloved Son to save His people? God did. On July 15, 2005 I learned something; I’m not alone in this world. We are not alone. We all feel the hurt of pain in our hearts at one time or another and the sting of disappointment. When I accepted Jesus as my savior I expected Him to come with a sponge and washcloth to clean me up, instead He came with a chisel and hammer to break me so He could make me. Yep that’s what I said God needs to break us so that He can make us more like Him. Here’s a story, last year I tried out for the high school baseball team and was cut.

Confirmation Personal statement pg. 2

I worked hard the next year I probably took around a couple thousand swings, when tryouts came I was ready and guess what, I didn’t make the team. I was extremely disappointed after that for a while nothing seemed fun. But something my dad said stuck with me, we all feel disappointment in our lives and this may be used for the future and I need to talk to God about the pain I felt. God’s job isn’t to walk in front of us and sweep our path clean so that we don’t trip and fall; He walks right by us and helps us pick ourselves up when we fall. After I became a Christian I still felt pain, my dog died, I failed tests, and I didn’t make the team, life was still imperfect but I’m here aren’t I? I still have the same smile on my face don’t I? I’ve stumbled a lot in my life and God has always lifted me up. Whether He is giving me the strength to send 8 hours a day in the hot sun in Mississippi or giving me the courage to tryout again God has been with me through the good and bad times. When the sun is rising God has reminded me why, and when it is setting and I am lost in the darkness He has reminded me it always rises in the morning. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” doesn’t mean “I’m going to be super-successful and have a great wonderful life on easy street.” It means “Though storms may come my way I can survive through them with God’s help.” You know when Paul wrote Phil. 4:13? If you said “Oh he was ministering to a community and they accepted Jesus and everything is going great” you’re dead wrong. Paul was in prison, arrested for loving Jesus. He wrote that verse in the end of His letter after thanking his friends for their gifts and good news he tells them not to worry because even though he is in chains and even though he knows he may die he also knows that Jesus was with him. Paul was shipwrecked, beaten, and put in chains, he heard how Christians were killed cruelly by the Roman soldiers and has seen good friends die but he has also seen the glory of God on the road and the miracle of his returning sight. He has seen the joy in the eyes of new believers and heard of the love of his Lord Jesus. Though things were going terribly Paul knew that he would survive through the loving grace of God.

I Got Confirmed!

Well now that I’ve had a week to think (or to translate: I’ve been too lazy/had no tome to write) about my confirmation and here are my thoughts. Some people view confirmation as a sort of graduation, some people see it as one of many stepping stones, and the popular belief in my school is that it means you don’t have to go to church anymore (please don’t do this). I see confirmation more as a confirming of our faith, friendship, and loyalty to God and the beginning of a relationship with Him. When I graduate from school it’s over, the next day will be summer and I will be done I can wash my hands of schoolwork. When I got confirmed it started, the next day was a new adventure in the next step in my relationship with God. Does it mean I will be perfect? No, I am sad to say I sinned this week. Does it mean I have no doubts? No there are still questions I have. What it means is that I am saying that I believe in the Bible, am committed to living a godly life, and am a member of my Church. Some people don’t get confirmed and that’s okay, but I stress the importance of spending time to grow closer to God and taking steps towards Him. Also I will post the speech I made; it’s pretty long so I might post the first page and then the second.

He Did It!

I knew Ortiz could do it, it just took a while. I know what it's like to be in slump (I'm in one now) and what Ortiz really needed was home run number one, hopefully the first of many. I just hope Ortiz hits like he did tonight more often and can go from Big Papa back to Big Papi.

Faith

I wrote earlier I started reading Job. Job is an interesting book; basically it is a conversation between four friends. Some background information: Job takes place around the time of Abraham so it’s really old, the book starts out with God boasting to satan that Job is blameless and satan says that Job is only good because he has a great life, God then lets the devil ruin Job’s life and the bet is on. Then the focus shifts to Job who is saddened by what is happening; his friends bug him saying “Oh, this is your fault” and his wife nags him saying “Curse God and die!” but Job stays strong. One thing that strikes me about Job is his faith. He knows that God loves him and has blessed him before, and even though God has stopped blessing him he doesn’t deny His goodness and holiness. That takes a lot of faith to do that. To go from a wealthy man to nothing and still say that God is good and deserves the same respect and fear is hard. I was also reading the Psalms and one thing that I feel connects is the fact that the Psalms are honest. David never goes around saying “Oh everything is perfect” he cries out “God where are you?” David can even be somewhat angry but he doesn’t let that get in the way of his fear and respect for God. Faith is never an easy thing, Jesus says that a mustard seed is all we need and sometimes when things go really wrong a mustard seed is all we’ve got. Job lost all he had, not to different from how we are in the current economic situation, but he remembered what God has done in the past and trusted Him with his future. One thing we must remember and that Job learns is even though our current situation may be pretty bad or even not make sense God is in control and will see us through it.

Sorry

I realize in my insensitivity that I kept Celtics colors up, so I changed the Celtics green to green monster green, hopefully the Celtics can have a better season next year and sorry Celtics fans who visited my blog.

Behind the Scenes Moves to Center Stage

I have just finished reading Esther and am now starting Job. One thing that struck me about Esther was that even though God’s name is not mentioned, His presence is undeniable. It also reminds me of how times can be nowadays. We all have those days when God just seems miles away, and no matter how hard we try we can’t hear His voice. Esther deals with that, the study notes in my Bible say that we can conclude that Esther and her relatives are not very religious, which may be why God is not mentioned. But the book is full of those “how about that” coincidences, those “just in time” events. Sometimes in life God can seem pretty far away, and even uninvolved in our lives, but one thing we’ve got to remember is even though we don’t hear His voice booming down from a mountaintop, He is still working “behind the scenes” in our lives ad is always with us. Also this is also a message of faith, even if you’re not a perfect saint, or super close to God He still has a plan for you and loves you. God’s love isn’t divided between Christians and non-Christians; He loves His people and even though we may sin against Him and disappoint Him He still loves us and desires a relationship with us and for us to be more like Him.

"The Hits are Coming"

I can’t guarantee that this will get you out of a slump, but it was a funny joke I had with my teammates and if you listen to U2 you’ll think it’s funny. Anyway here is my “slump song” to the tune of “The Saints are Coming”

"I cried to my daddy on the telephone how long now?
I struck out at my last at-bat how long now?
I wanna get a hit but can’t get one can’t get one
Strike! Ball! Smash!
The hits are coming, the hits are coming
I wanna get a hit cause’ I know that I can get one cause'
The hits are coming the hits are coming."

Anyway I thought it was funny, and I went 1-3 today so I guess it relaxed me enough to do well. But the most important thing is to thank God for the ability and chance to play baseball with my friends.

Red Sox News

Please vote on the poll, I changed my entire blog color to make it legible. Right now Ortiz is pretty bad, hopefully sometime very soon, maybe even tonight, he’ll break out of his slump and crush the ball like Big Papi, not like the Big Papa we’ve got now. Now for some good news, Drew is close to a break out, he is probably one of my favorite players at his best he’s great and he’s also a great person, and Mike Lowell is doing very well despite claims that he’s a “broken down old man with nothing left”. Soon the Blue Jays are going to be tested by the Sox, let’s see if they truly are as good as they seem.

Do You Feel Joy?

My youth leader once asked my dad at one of my baseball games if baseball brought me joy. Then and now I don’t know. When God makes us and puts us on this earth He was one (or two) things in mind, for us to learn about Him and love Him, and then for us to discover the gifts He gave us and uses them for His glory. God gifts us each individual gifts, some people are good singers (I am not one of them) some are great at drawing; the list goes on and on. The thing is that by doing these things that we are gifted at, we find joy, we find the satisfaction in doing what we are meant to do. As for me I don’t know what I want to do, I like writing about God (I guess that one was a big surprise) that brings me joy, I like playing baseball, that is on and off at times. On the “life is good” shirts there is a tag that says “do what you like, like what you do” that is the point I am trying to make. God gives us gifts, we need to find out what they are, and we find joy in that, if you are doing something with your life that you hate then STOP! I guess the big question we need to ask ourselves is “Am I finding joy in this, or am I just doing this for the sake of doing it?” I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, mainly about who I am, and who I am as a baseball player, and if I find joy in what I do, I guess this is just a long thought-turned-post I had. All I know is that I hope that god reveals to me and everyone else I know what He made us to do.

Sorry

Sorry for the loss of Red Sox colors, but I had to revert to the less exciting standard format so that the survey could be legible, anyways vote and hopefully there will be some surprises in the future for Ortiz. I'll fool around with different colors to find a good combination, maybe I'll go with Celtics colors.

It's Possible

I wrote a post earlier “We Need a Wall” and now I would like to continue/elaborate/explain… my thoughts, and comment on a comment. A (commenter, commentator,?) said that walls, like physical ones tend to separate people and can make Pharisees out of us, that is true, but not the walls I was talking about. The walls I am talking about are physical steps to avoid sin, and that leads me to my next topic. I finished Nehemiah, and one thing that sticks out to me is how the Israelites are really unfaithful to God, often I think, ‘geez, you’d think that if God was so involved in day-to-day life, and spoke all the time, that the Israelites would stick closer to Him.” Well I then thought, ‘do I?’ and the sad answer is, no. Yes I am a Christian and I really do believe in and love God but the honest truth is that I am imperfect and selfishly act on my own impulses, some people might be tsk, tsking me but my next question is, do we? It’s easy to accept the forgiveness God offers, it’s easy to accept the sacrifice Jesus made, but it’s hard to do it ourselves. This is one of the more difficult parts of life, that we must turn from sin and change our lives. When Jesus entered my life He changed some stuff, but I still had to make the decision to live a better life. It’s not easy, but it’s possible and God helps us. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says that God will help us, we are not alone in this. Am I saying that we are to be perfect? No, because we never will be, I am saying that it is a bad habit to make it an excuse. I also want to say this, repentance can take a while, but God will never give up on us, and never stop forgiving and loving us.

Mother's Day

Well it’s Mother’s Day; in my church the pastor always has a special sermon about mom’s and that got me thinking about some of the great mothers in the Bible. Our pastor was talking about how some people think the Bible degrades women, but here are a few great moms for those who are interested: Eve, Moses’ mom, Naomi (Ruth’s mother in-law), Elizabeth (John the Baptist’s mom), and Mary. So for those who though the Bible looked down on women, there are a few very powerful stories of great people that God used (and all of them are connected to Jesus is some way). Anyway don’t forget to thank your mom, there was a short skit that was set up like a job interview and it made me think about how much my mom does everyday, so thanks, and also don’t forget to see the Sox today, they’ve got the pink gear today; let’s see if they can get another “Mother’s Day miracle”.

Manny never was being Manny

I just have to say that I have a hard time both believing and comprehending what I just found out. Manny Ramirez tested positive for steroid use. I hope his testimony is true, I hope that all I’m hearing is a lie because what’s going on now is a nightmare for baseball. So many players have taken steroids, Bonds, Clemens, Giambi, A-Rod, Varitek, Ortiz (I think), Garciaparra… the list goes on and on. And then there was Manny, as much as we Boston fans hated him I looked up to him and tried to emulate my hitting style off of his. I copied his calm composure in the box, his smooth swing; I remarked to my dad that it’s good for baseball to have a natural player, to get a hall of famer who did it the right way for once. I officially hate steroids and the people who make/deal them. There is a natural way to get good numbers on the board look at Ted Williams, Hank Aaron, Babe Ruth, Joe Jackson; notice that all these players are way beyond my time. I guess no one works hard enough anymore, but I’ll say this, it is possible. It is possible to set goals and reach them, it just takes determination and 120% effort.

NGS

As you can see I’ve added the No Greater Sacrifice (NGS) logo to my blog, I highly recommend checking out the website, I left a link on a post “True Courage”, it’s a relatively young charity but it does very great things for the children of fallen heroes.

We Need a Wall

I’ve finished Ezra and am now reading Nehemiah, for some background information basically start at my post on Hezekiah and fast-forward about 200 years to the Israelites return to Jerusalem. Ezra was basically about the return and rebuilding of the temple and Nehemiah is Nehemiah’s account of rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem. All this talk about building got me about walls. Nehemiah stresses to the king of Persia (they let the people go after invading the Babylonian empire) the need for a wall around the city. What do walls do? (It’s a rhetorical question, don’t worry I know what they do) Well they keep bad things out and good things in, for example a wall around a sand castle keeps water (for a short time) out and the castle in. In a way there is a need for that in our lives. Once I heard someone talk about “guarding your heart” and I didn’t quite get it at first but now I understand. We sin, it’s a fact that we are imperfect, but we can prevent ourselves from sinning, and that is by putting up walls; for example if you’re an alcoholic, don’t go by a liquor store or if you’re addicted to smoking stay away from stores that sell cigarettes (or according to some kid in Cape Cod, me). Proverbs 25: 28 says “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control” it’s a fact of life that we are tempted, even Jesus was tempted but if we call on God for help, stay strong and put up our walls we can live a life that glorifies God. (Note: the reference to Cape Cod is from another post, it’s a funny story but for those of you who are confused don’t worry I never have/never will either smoke or posses cigarettes.)

True Courage

I have written about courage before, but now I have experienced it firsthand in Washington D.C over this past weekend. On Friday my dad and I went to a dinner sponsored by a charity called No Greater Sacrifice or NGS; NGS is a relatively young foundation that does a great thing by giving scholarships and other financial aid to the children of fallen soldiers. It was that night that I learned what true courage and sacrifice really mean. There was a slideshow for one particular marine who had he died in battle, and his father was sitting at the table next to me and I heard him say “That’s my son” as he fought back tears for the rest of the presentation. In our society we can sometimes get a distorted view of bravery and courage. Some guys think it’s better to get into a fist fight than keep your cool, or that the more dangerous you act the braver you are. What I saw on Friday contradicts that, true courage comes from God and is shown by standing up and doing the right thing no matter how hard it is. True courage comes from not backing down even though you’re outnumbered and never giving up on what you believe in. The main event of the night was when General David H. Petraeus received the freedom award, and during his speech God spoke to me through a Bible verse he used, the verse is Isaiah 6: 8 “Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I (Isaiah) said, “Here am I. Send me!” Petraeus went on to say how that is the attitude of the marines, but I had a thought, the marines are truly brave and courageous people who emulate Christ by laying down their lives but why should they be the only ones? I say this, in my own community wherever I am this is what I (and I hope those who read this) will do, I am going to stand up for what’s right and for other people and emulate Christ, I am going to ask God to send me. NGS is a great charity and I highly recommend making a contribution just go to www.nogreatersacrifice.org.