Some Jumbled Thoughts

I am amazed and humbled by faith. I wish I knew what else to say but that is all that comes out. I’ve been going on this journey for a few months now and I just realized it never ends, faith is not an object we can obtain, it’s not a measured amount it’s not like “I’ll trade this for five pieces of faith, or five dollars of faith…” Jesus told us we needed a mustard seed sized faith to say “Hey faith is faith, if you believe you’re there!” I wish I could describe exactly what I went through to get where I am, I wish I had all the answers to my questions (which I don’t) but I can say this, I believe in God and love Him for not forgetting me. I may have a down turn, who knows next week I could be back where I started but I do know this, there is more to the world, there is more to life than just living day after day, complex questions can only have complex answers. I’ll reel off all my thoughts in a series of posts later. One thing I used to think was “Okay once I get out of this ‘problem’ I’ll get back to ‘normal’ posts.” One thing I never got is this, faith is a part of life meaning it’s a journey, it is in times of despair that we grow to be more like God (C.S. Lewis writes about this in “The Screwtape Letters”), one more thing true faith is only built after it is tested. I can believe whatever I want but until it is tested and proven strong it will not hold through my life, this is why emotion never sustains us. Sorry if my thought process is, in simplest terms “whack” I’m really tired and I’ve got a ton on my mind, I’ll write individual posts about each thought I had, and then see where God takes me.