What Does it Take to be a Real Man?

This post departs from my usual theme of Biblical study and application. This post is more of a personal struggle for me, it’s a question of what it means to be a man. I’m 19 now; I’m getting to a point where being a kid is no longer an option. Before I know it I’ll be graduating college and getting married, but what does it mean to be a man? So many young men my age pound iron at the gym, smoke, drink, swear, and use women because that is what society tells us men do. Look at advertisements and movies, the leading men are all big, strong, dashing, and feared. There is no “wimpy” guy, no one wants to be the bookish nerd, or even the kid who sits at his keyboard typing blog posts. I work out and have friends, but I am hardly the debonair character in TV shows or movies. I don’t have many claims to fame, no special talents, no especially graceful social skills, does that mean that I am a failure? In the eyes of society, I am. Society sells us an image, and frankly I don’t buy it. Sure I could diet to build the body society wants, save money to buy the stuff society wants, and work really hard in school (but not in a nerdy way) to get the job society wants, but at the end what is the point? No a real man, at least in God’s eyes, is very different. There are literally hundreds of scripture references but two come to mind: the story of David and Psalm 119. Saul was King of Israel but God was calling a new one through the mouth of Samuel. Samuel was sent to find the man God was calling, and found Jesse and his sons. Jesse had many strong sons that Samuel found more than suitable. In fact he went to each one, only to be called off by God. God rebuked Samuel saying, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7). Imagine that, several tall, strong, gifted men come before Samuel, yet God says “nope, sorry Samuel but they may look like men but in my eyes they aren’t.” You see, God doesn’t care about what society thinks or expects, instead He looks at our heart and character. To be a true man, one only needs to look to Psalm 119, what I consider a “training manual” for anyone look to have the strength, courage, and character of a godly man. To be a real man I don’t need to bench twice my weight, hold my liquor better than anyone else, or have girls in line waiting to go out with me. Those things may be nice, but what are they really worth? What do they add to my character? Sure I can admire the fictional characters of Jason Bourne, Jack Ryan, or Don Corrleone; they may be tough but are they real, godly men? I don’t know about you, but the man I want to be is one God can be proud to call His own. One humble enough to admit his mistakes, one strong enough to do the right thing, and one kind enough to extend God’s love to everyone he meets. That’s the kind of man God expects us to be, is it the archetype shown in movies? No. Is it the most rewarding and joyous path for us to take? Yes.