Forgive for Your Sake

I’ve been thinking a lot about forgiveness lately. I’ll admit it, for all I say about the need to forgive, I find it difficult at times to forgive those who hurt me. That’s my stubborn Italian nature kicking in at those times, “Why should I let them get away with it?” I ask, should not they get some sort of backlash for how they treated me? Well we can debate the merits of revenge all day, but really what good does it do? Revenge is a perverted sense of justice in that hurting someone else does not undo what they did, instead it fuels a fire that could potentially burn forever.

Still, it’s hard to not be mad at someone for hurting you, I know the feeling quite well as it has been a struggle for me. But God commands us to forgive, the Our Father prayer that Jesus gave the disciples says “forgive us as we forgive our debtors.” So in not forgiving others, we are setting ourselves up as not being forgiven by God. Jesus also commands us to love our neighbors as ourselves and love God above all, so not forgiving someone or harboring hatred against others is hardly in line with that command.

So what are we to do? C.S. Lewis once wrote that forgiveness is not about saying what someone did to you is ok, but it’s about saying you won’t let it get to you. There is a quote that says not forgiving someone is liking drinking poison and expecting them to die. Either way it seems that forgiveness is more for our benefit than the person who hurt us. In my case, if I refuse to forgive someone who hurt me, I end up dwelling on it and become drawn into this cycle of anger. Each reminder of them hurts me further and causes me to lash out against those around me. Now what life is that? I end up giving them more power over me, rather I should take the initiative to let go and let God rule my life in love.

So if you harbor anger ask yourself how it benefits you. Sure you feel strong and tough, you feel like you are in power and that they had better not cross you again, but in reality are you free? Letting go can be tough, especially when the wound hits home, but pray and ask God to fill you with love rather than anger.