Happy New Year

I want to take some time to wish everyone a Happy New Year. This marks post #22 on the month; I haven't written that many since I wrote 39 posts in the first month of this blog's existence. I've been going through a lot lately, and it has been very hard. God has held a great big mirror in front of me and showed me what I needed to see: that I am not as close to Him as I need to be. I ned God in my life, I need Him to guide me and lead me to where He wants me to be. Most importantly I need to trust in Him more. This time last year I was sidetracked, I allowed the world to best me and veer me off course. Here I am now, broken but resilient. I know that God has not given up on me, even though I do sometimes. I pray that He will continue to guide me as He has done. I debated for a while whether I should post with the frequency that I have this month. Namely because posting every day requires me be more honest with you, and to reveal some things that I don't want to. It is hard to write about how I'm going through a bad time, but at the same time it has been extremely helpful to me. Going forward I will try to post more often; usually when I am hurting or lost I stop writing, perhaps in the future I should do the opposite. Either way it has been a great month and year in terms of figuring things out; through the pain God has made Himself known and for that I am extremely grateful. So I wish you a Happy New Year, and safe travels. God is with us, let us never forget that. 2012 may have brought storms, but 2013 may bring that long awaited, and much needed, peace.

Words

I ask today that you watch your words. We don't really think much about how what we say can affect others. We may not be able to control what has happened in our lives to cause us to be angry or hurt, but we can control how we react. As my father once said "10% is what happens, and 90% is how you react." How do you react to pain in your life? You you wear a scowl so people will leave you alone? Do you hurt others, even you family, to build yourself up? Do you envy success in your friends so much that you belittle them any chance you get? We all do these things at least once in our lives, and they are some of the cruelest and most hurtful things you can do. We don't really give much thought to how our words can affect us, but they remain the greatest tools of God's love,or weapons of the devil that we have. With your words you can save a life, or trash one. I have realized this, and I say this to you: tell those around you that you love them. Tell your mom and dad that you love them. Hug your sisters and brothers and tell them you love them. Depending on your friends you can use some discretion, but still let others know how much you care. We may be hurt in our lives, I have been hurt a lot over the years but God has pulled me through. God has had faith in me, and all He asks is that I have faith in Him. So God, I love you. I love you more than any thing here on this earth, and I trust in you always. To run on anger you need something to be angry about, our anger is in very limited supply. But love is infinite, God gives His love freely through His ultimate sacrifice. You can never run out of love. So share that love with others. I don't just ask you, I dare you. I dare you to love, and let others love you. You will be pleasantly surprised by what happens.

Promise

Last  night was a post written by a broken young man. Today I am still broken, but God gave me a little hope. I work very hard to maintain a high level of physical fitness so I can play baseball. I don't just settle with being good enough, I work out about 3-4 times a week to get in shape for each season. If I work so hard to take care of my physical body, I should work 10 times as hard to take care of my spiritual body. I think it's time I get into spiritual shape. There is a battle out there, there is evil to fight against and I cannot serve God as a spiritual weakling. I need to be strong. I can't ever promise I'll be perfect, but what I can promise is that I will work out spiritually. Just as I get up every morning and get my morning workout in, I will get a spiritual workout in before I even get my breakfast. Just as I eat healthy snacks to keep alert throughout the day, I will fill myself up with God's word throughout the day to stay strong. It won't be easy, but is any new workout ever easy? When I start a new routine it is tough! Sometimes I wake up the next day so sore I can barely move, but I need to stretch and warm up so I can keep going. This new "workout" will be tough and there will be days that I will fail, but I want to publicly make a promise to you, and my family, that I will get in shape spiritually.

Sometimes I Need to Be Carried

I didn’t want to write this post, and I don’t know whether or not it is a good idea to post this. Still, I feel compelled to, I feel that this is something I need to say. I often offer support, wisdom, and prayer to you but now I am the one in need of prayer—lots of prayer. I feel that with writing this blog comes a great responsibility to be an exemplary person, but as a 19 year old kid I have much maturing and growing up to do. That is something I rarely admit, but something I really need to admit.

            The most popular vices seem to be pride, greed, or sex. However, while I face many temptations as a young man, my greatest vice is anger. I, Tay Tay, am an angry, resentful person. There, I said it. It’s not just that I have a short fuse (like all Sicilians) it’s that I have a burning anger over the many “injustices” done to me over the years. This causes me to be frustrated at best, and unforgiving at the worst. This anger is not just mismatched and spread all over the place, instead I direct it at my family.

            Why am I writing this? Mainly because I cannot stand to write so many blog posts about loving others and continue to act like a saint in public while in the comfort of my home I lash out at the people who love me the most. This is my confession to you, my readers. I am not perfect, I am a fallen and sinful young man who needs God’s forgiveness, love, and above all help. Pray for me, pray for my family that they may forgive me and that the relationships I continue to destroy may be healed. It is one thing to be young and angry, but it is a different and worse state to be old and angry at the world. Someday God will entrust me with a family of my own. I pray that when that time comes my heart will be healed and I will look with love at my family and the world, and not this anger and hurt that clouds my vision.

            I wanted to share this with you because now, instead of giving advice I am in need of it. Instead of giving prayer I need to be prayed for. Sometimes even the people God trusts great responsibilities with need to be picked up by those they help. Right now I need God to carry me and show me how to become a better man, how to repent, how to fix what I have so carelessly and selfishly damaged.

            Above all, I am sorry.

Merry Christmas

Here we are, the much awaited Christmas day. I want to take a little time to wish everyone a merry Christmas, and ask you all to do the same. Last night my pastor gave a great message about a village somewhere in Paraguay that built instruments out of trash. These people literally lived on a landfill, and this man came in and showed them the gift of music. The village had no instruments though, but the man worked with the people and built cellos, violins, and pretty much everything else so that they could play. I could not believe my ears, it sounded like I was at the Boston Pops—well not really, but it was pretty darn good. I’ll find a link and post it here so you can see for yourself. Anyway: the point of the story is that the man came into this village shrouded in despair and brought it joy. That is the best gift of all, and that is the gift we are given in our Savior Jesus. I watched the Nativity story this year with my family, and the most touching moment is when the shepherd comes to see the baby Jesus, and he has tears in his eyes. The man was so overcome by joy, years waiting for relief from the pain and here it is. We live in a fallen world, I’ve had to think about that more now than ever. I too am fallen, we all are—no one is immune to our sinful nature. But Jesus came to our world to save it, to save us. I wish you a merry Christmas, and ask you to do the same. The world needs a little Christmas, we need a Savior to come down and grant us peace. The world did not end on 2012, and I don’t really know when Jesus will come down to do it Himself, but I do know that we can do our little part by making the world around us a better place. What can you do to share God’s love? What can you do to share your joy? Christmas may be one time a year, but every day is a chance to share the gift of God’s love with others, for the next 365 days as we wait for this blessed day try to share your gifts with those around you.

Christmas Eve Thoughts

Here are a few late-night thoughts. As I sat in church earlier this night I felt an incredible peace. It was a peace in knowing that no matter what goes on around me, I know that God is in control and working behind the scenes at all times. When Jesus came to the world there was great unrest: power and corruption were the names of the game and the Jewish people were in desperate need of a King. Added to that, God had been silent for nearly 500 years, the situation was truly hopeless. Yet in the darkness, God shined a light, His light, and came into our world and took it by storm. Whether you're having the best Christmas of your life or in a really low place right now, remember one thing--God is there, and He gave you an incredible gift: Himself. It's late, and I have a big day tomorrow, but I just wanted to leave you with that one thought. I pray that your Christmas is joyful, and your travels safe. God bless, and good night.

Where is He Leading You?

Unfortunately I have been away from writing for a few short days. I’ve been preparing for Christmas, which means lots of baking (but mainly cookie testing). I read Genesis 12 today, which recounts the call of Abram (later Abraham). It’s an amazing story, and inspiration of faith. God calls Abram right out of the blue, and tells him to move his family with the promise of future fame. Abram, amazingly, complies. Don’t think it’s that special? What if God called you to move across the country to a place you’ve never been, what would you do? I find it difficult when God calls me to do the little things around here, what if He were to tell me to go to Oregon or Montana?

            The other interesting aspect of the story is that God’s promise is never fulfilled in Abram’s lifetime. God promises that He will make Abram’s name great, and that never really happens until much later when Israel becomes its own nation. You could even argue, with good reason, that God’s promise to Abram is the first promise of the coming of Jesus; Jesus was in Abram’s family line and fulfilled God’s plan to reconnect with His people.

            So what can we get from this? Well, it is clear that God’s promises are always fulfilled, but not necessarily on our time frame. We pray a lot for things to happen, and are often disappointed when we don’t get what we want. That does not mean that God is not listening and it certainly does not mean that He doesn’t love us. He just acts according to His plan, which we are not always knowledgeable about. That dream job may be 15 years away, I may not have a family of my own until I’m 35—either way we cannot lose faith and hope in God’s promise for our lives, because He always comes through. All Abram wanted was a nice home and five or six kids, what he got was a nation, and Messiah, in his family line. Imagine what God has in store for you!

            This Christmas season, while the gifts we receive on the 25^th may be nice, never forget the gifts from God. God blesses us more than we could ever imagine, sometimes we lose sight of that though because we tend to focus on the bad in our lives instead of the good. 

Thinking Of Christmas and Genesis

I realize that I have yet again slacked in my writing efforts. I started a new internship yesterday and was exhausted after a long day’s work, so I readily admit that I have dropped the ball. I finished the story of Noah’s Ark this morning, and find myself think about Christmas. Yes, a story in Genesis sparked my thoughts towards the birth of Christ.

            When I wrote my last post I was troubled by recent events; in fact, many events have caused me to question God “why are people the way they are?” Why are people so cruel to those around them, why do people hurt innocents without a thought to the pain they cause. I have had some unfortunate experience in this area, and it has caused me great pain and confusion. Reading the story of Noah’s Ark, I think we can all relate in some way. Noah was a good man surrounded by evil, the men of the earth were so evil that God decided to start over. Imagine that, God be so distressed that He decides to wipe everything off the slate and start anew. We can feel like that, can’t we? Good men and women in a world of evil, where bad people get away and good people suffer.

            That is what Christmas is for, that is why Jesus came. God gave us a Savior because we need saving. Our world is flawed, and we need a perfect savior to come in and intervene. No more starting over, no more dying; we are given that fresh start in Jesus’ sacrifice. It gives me immense joy to dwell on that one fact: that I am saved. The world can throw its worst at me, but I am saved by God, protected by His ultimate sacrifice. There are many times where I am in great pain and distress, but that cannot keep God’s grace and saving power from me. In the beginning God had to destroy evil to save the world, in Jesus He confronted it and died to save us.

            It is human nature to be inherently sinful, but through Jesus we can be brought back inside God’s grace. Never forget that fact, and never lose hope. Though we may see great injustice around us, this is not all there is. We are living for something so much more. On that night 2000 ago a baby wasn’t just born rather, a King had come back to save His people. This Christmas try to dwell on that for a moment it is easy to focus on presents or good food, but try to take a few minutes to pray and reflect on what the birth of Christ really means to you.

Disjointed Thoughts

I just received some very troubling news. Apparently a student (who will remain nameless) plotted to assault a midnight showing of The Hobbit. Honestly, the news of these attacks breaks my heart. I once had faith in the goodness in humanity; I thought that there were others like my family who genuinely wanted to do good. Yes there are many like that, but there are also many who want to destroy, and cause pain. There are those so blinded by selfishness and power that they are willing to take a life brimming with hope, and end it. What is wrong with this world? I’m sitting here with a stomach ache, chewing tums by the bottle and downing ginger ale, and praying.

            I am reminded of Psalm 23:4 “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.” Well, I feel like I am in the shadow of death right now. The shootings in Colorado and Connecticut were horrible, but far away from me. Now I am faced with evil right in front of me. I held the door for this evil, walked past it, may have studied near it. What are we to do? I will not give up in my faith in the goodness of God. Though evil is a very present reality around us, God’s goodness is greater. I may live a life of peace, or I may see my life snatched from me but that will never, ever, destroy my faith and take God’s love away from me. Romans 8: 37-39 says, “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

            Nothing can ever take away God’s love from us, He is the most important thing in our lives and no evil or fear can change that. Governments may be cruel to their people, murderers may hurt our families, but they can never stop God’s love from strengthening our hearts. I am shocked, and not really sure of much any more but I do know that God knows what is in store for my future and He will protect me every day from here on out.