Update

I realize it has been a long while since I last posted. I had forgotten to post our latest study in FCA last Monday and completely neglected my usual round of posting on Good Friday and Easter. This is not because I am not thinking, rather I have been thinking a lot. I've been thinking so much that I cannot really put my thoughts to print, for some reason the bridge between my brain and my hands is broken and there is no better way to put it. 

When God picked me up He had big plans for me; He had plans that I could never dream of. Looking at my life it truly is amazing, God has followed through time and time again, yet my own weakness and shortcomings have prevented me from fully achieving His purpose. He hasn't given up on me though, He never does and that is something I never will fully understand. Why does He love me so much? It's a question I continually approach yet never really ask, I guess the real answer is that He loves me because He made me, and that is a bond that can't be broken.

I used to pray that God would help me return to how things were before I got in this whole mess, now I'm praying that He keeps leading me down the road I'm on and that He does a new thing in me. Wherever I go I know that I haven't been there before, and that one day I will look back and know why I went through what I'm going through now. It's not so much pain or anger any more, those two terrors are fading in my mind as I find a new sense of strength. Now it's a matter of what to do with my new strength, it's a matter of understanding who I am, why I'm here, and what I am to do.

I do miss writing on this blog, honestly I really do. The problem with writing though is that I need an idea, and right now they jumble and confuse themselves beyond even my ability to put my thoughts to pen.