God is going to do a new thing

I realize that I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been extremely busy and have not been afforded the time to write anything other than schoolwork. That said I figured it would be nice to take a break and post a few brief thoughts.

It’s been an amazing journey over the past few weeks. God has picked me up from my depression and then threw me into the fire in which he has been working on my heart. I didn’t just need to be picked up, I needed to be rebuilt. God’s been doing a lot in my life and while to get here I needed to force myself through the pain of realizing where I am, and the pain of brining up my past, God has been faithful and carried me through. He has also provided me with numerous friends and mentors who have reached out to me, for which I am very grateful.

My whole story may never really be told to everyone, there are a select few who know of the demons I battle every day, but God has been working on me because for the first time I am letting Him. I am letting Him take away the pain and I am giving up control. I’m a guy who likes to be in control. I carry myself with a high level of discipline. I eat right, exercise 4-5 times a week, do all my homework, and maintain a strong moral code that I expect myself to follow. This causes me to feel like I have a sense of control over my life, and the hardest thing is realizing that no matter how strong I am and how good I am, there are some battles I will always lose.

God can win them though; He can take the pain away and give you strength. For years there was a part of my life I thought I could fix, but lately I’ve realized that some pain is just too great for me to lift on my own. It will be a continuing journey, but know this: God is going to do a new work in me. God is creating a new man in me, someone who is stronger, calmer, and full of His love.